Hello all~

Dear Fans,subscribers and Friends,

Hey you guys :) ! Just wanted to say merry Christmas! And wow, another year has gone away , and you guys are still here with me ! That is really crazy to me! THATS BONKLES! You have no idea how thankful I am !

I'm wishing this coming year is a much better year then 2010~ I hope in 2011 , wow 2011 sounds futuristic , anyway, I hope everyone will experience something different in 2011. Whether it be some sort of enlightenment, or an increase in gratefulness... I just hope you all will gain something Divine , rather then just materialistic things. I wish you all the best, and from the bottom of my heart I love you guys! I would not trade you for 10 mil random viewers, to me, you guys are so precious. Not only because you watch my videos and such, but the fact you accept me just the way I am, and the fact you all encourage me through out my life . Thats why I love you guys~ so once again, thank you and merry Christmas!!

-TenchiJk-

GLEE cont.

Dear Reader,


As I was reading through the comments , All I could say was "sigh". You guys are Only looking at whats in front of you, try to look beyond that!!!! Most of y'all got it, but for the few that are still confused here some clarification.

some people were hurt about my comment about the girl from glee, right? The people from the media ain't stupid... if they just put an ugly black women on the screen , people will catch on and complain. However, they made a clever way to make people accept it , and just live with it... or be content with it. Just like sheep.

The media makes you RELATE to the character on the screen. Someone that closely resembles the average person. Why? because by dissing that character is almost like dissing yourself. So you know what people end up doing? They settle for less. Also, this self hatred, self pity , and all of that comes from the media putting the negative flaws ON THE MOTHERFUCKIN SCREEN. EVERYONE has flaws, but why SPOTLIGHT the flaws EVERY DAY... for EVERYONE to see??!! You understand what i'm saying here?? AND IF they were to put out the flaws of black women, why not of white women? If everyone showed their flaws, it wouldn't be so bias would it? No it wouldn't, because we would all see everyone has flaws... But obviously its one sided. And the girl from glee is one of many the media had planted.

See how people get hurt when I say shes not pretty? People take it personally. Now imagine someone said Jessica Alba was ugly, or average. Would any white girl take it personally and feel self hatred, self pity and lose self esteem? No they won't .

Meanwhile , if someone says girl from Glee is ugly , who gets hurt? EVERYONE that looks like her. You know what that proves? That proves they are using actresses that are too average looking, and with too many normal flaws. While they use white actress that are flawless. Is it because white people are flawless? NO they are JUST like everyone else, there are beautiful ones and there are PLENTY of ugly women... But they rarely put their flaws on the screen. SO why should they put the flaws of black women so much on the screen? All these negative stereotypes and so on.

Going back to Jessica Alba... why don't white girls get offended? Because, although Jessica represents white women across the nation.. MOST w.girls do NOT look like her... she is WAY above standard. So thus NO one can say shit about Jessica, and that also means NO body talks shit about w. girls.

Think about what the media Mongers are thinking. I think of it as a basketball game... to make it simple.

The coach is the Media mongers... and the coach chooses the most fit, athletics members on one team...(the dream team) and all the nerds and nonathletic people one side(the minority team). When they play the game , obviously the nerd team loses ALL the time... They don't benefit at all. The nerd kids starts complaining a bit... saying the teams are unfair! But the coach is clever, he tells him, NO you can do it! You just need spirit! You guys are doing great! So the nerds start thinking YEA, we can do it! So they try again... Lose 100-0 . And every time the nerds try to complain they get convinced by the coach that THIS time it will work. Fails again, THIS time. THIS time. ETC ETC ETC. But then One day, one of the nerds says this is bullshit... calls all the parents , P.T.A and everyone... tells them the truth, how it isn't fair... So finally the Coach balances the team... But still he chooses the best players out of his group on one side, and give the rest that were average... So when they play the game, its 100-10... They still lose. But now, the nerds can no longer complain. And the Dream team wins every time. And because by now the Nerd team think it's normal to lose.. and the reason why they are losing is because they suck... but thats not the case is it. If they were to balance it out fairly... there would be good players and bad players on both side... and the score would be evened out.

-TenchiJk-

Glee casting...

Do you get what i'm trying to point out? You see how unfair the casting is? In all shows, not just this... but you see how quickly the girl on the left gets over shadowed... it took me.. 5 minutes to find beautiful girls from both races. Why is it so hard for FUCKIN PROFESSIONALS TO FIND THE RIGHT GIRL? Simple, cause they want the other races to feel ugly.

I received a message from one of my fans about the comment I made about the girl from glee.






As much as I love you Tenchi, I personally see an over weight girl on TV as meaning that you don't have to be slim or a size 0 to be on TV and that as long as you have talent it doesn't matter what you look like, your talent and belief in your ability will carry you far. And I for one think that Mercedes is pretty.






"Thats cause you've already bought into the medias hog wash. Tell me if they ever done something like that for white people. Have they ever used a less then average looking girl and make her a star with that kind of message. " you can make it even if your under par" This kinda of stuff comes AFTER you've put a solid foundation, not when its weak.

For example... IF... The media had many, I mean MANY positive representation of black women in the past.. and IF people was content with the image of black women on the screen THEN it would be okay to have things like glee and such. However, The media is FILLED WITH negative stereotypes of B.W , ALSO , and the media made you guys settle for less .

For example, They've pushed the white female above all else right? choosing the most beautiful ,slim, PERFECT looking girls on screen. We've been watching them for years, thinking ALL white women look this perfect ( which is bullshiet)... However.. Black, mexicans, asians have very SHITTY representation.. The ugly ones, the not so shining representation.

And so, IF they made GLEE with a fat white lady , with that kinda of message it wouldn't HURT the white image. Because, they already have a very strong FOUNDATION. However, GLEE with a fat black girl is only hurting the image more... and the MEDIA WANTS YOU TO THINK... " yea, but shes still beautiful, she's been through alot.. " AND WHILE you think this, YOU'VE SETTLED... You don't strive for MORE. The media brainwashed you to be content with that, and think its "FAIR" ..

but Open your eyes, it is NOT FAIR. Do you know what propaganda is ? It's when they use schemes to make us believe something thats not true. If you watch that girl on glee over and over and over again.. you automatically start believing everyone that is a black female looks like that. The image STICKS in your mind... While if you watch ANGELINA JOLIE, EVA LONGORIA, ALL these hot white chicks OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN...that image sticks... and you think, all white girls WOULD look like that (even if it is not true)

It's fine to think Mercedes is pretty, and I'm sure she is in her own way... however, What you need to SEE is the STRINGS of the puppeteer. And WHY THEY did that...and you would understand why it is unfair to put Mercedes in the spot light. "

-Side note-

Just look more closely to the media and the surroundings... don't just buy in the So called "positive message " they shoot out. Because inside a positive message always hides a hidden agenda. White America has always tried to make us inferior, less beautiful , and they've been very successful at it... and if you think things got better, no. It only got sneakier and less obvious to the common eye.

They say White women are the most desirable . Why because they are beautiful? or is it because we see beautiful women that are white on the screen? Most likely the latter. Our minds are like sponges... It soaks up an image and it repeats it self over and over again.

To give an example... Asian men were not attractive at all in the past. But , here come k-pop, new media... they see handsome asian men on the screen. The images are burned in... its recorded in there minds... Thus now a attractive.

On the other-side, they say Black women are least desirable. why? because of shit like glee... Sneaky placement of ugly black women in the screen, and they hide it with a POSITIVE MESSAGE. Lets call it a gift wrap.

Now, lets see it in a different perspective. What if... every t.v channel you turn to, every show, every sitcom... had women that looked like Gabriel union, beyonce etc etc .. Basically girls on that caliber. What if even the Side characters, the supporting actors ,everyone that was a black female on the screen looked liked that?( AND it very WELL CAN BE, if the casting GAVE A DAMN)

For example, When they cast white people, they are SOO ANAL... Choosing the right height, color, shape, form... making sure they don't over shadow the main character, but making sure they over shadow everyone else. However, when they choose any minority.. they pretty much choose someone who will DEFINITELY be under a shadow ... making sure they don't shine over their white counterparts.

So this about glee... This is just one of MANY examples the media fucks with our minds. And you watch Glee and say, but she is such a role model, or some shit like that is because you hand fed bullshiet by the media. They WANT you to think that, and feel content.

ITs like BEING RACIST WITHOUT BEING OPENLY RACIST. They call it SATIRE lol, but its CLEARLY unfair and racist. Fuck the media. Down with the system.


p.s Look at my casting compare to professionals... Doesn't the black girl in my casting look beautiful and OUT shine the white girl? What about the asian girl, around the same caliber right? But look at the casting the so called professional did.. who is obviously the one outshining everyone.. the the white girl clearly.

second part of book.

(Also not edited~ If you would like to edit it for me, thats cool too ahahah ~ but enjoy! )

Chapter 2-
"Hey you guys okay back there?" In the back seat were three girls I've never seen before. One looked about my age, and the other no older then 13 and the little one ,7. As Jay continued to drive ,weaving pass the empty cars, I poised myself and talked to the scared girls behind me.
I ignored what I saw through the rear window of course and talked to them.
“Hey , um... I'm David... weird time to introduce myself I know... You guys okay?” The oldest one stuttered and said “ Hi ,I'm Chelsea, this is my younger sister Charlotte, and the little one is Samantha. We found her crying by Forest mall alone, so we picked her up... Th...thanks for ” Jay interrupted “ Yea hyung! I picked them all up and I was like ready to bone out but then I remember you hyung, and I was like oh crap I need to drive by his house to see if your there”
I looked at my friend sincerely for the first time and said “ yo... seriously though, thanks man. “ A small smirk rose out of him, and he said “ dude, I got you man, I got you “
Jay maintained a cruising speed while we rubbernecked. Looking left and right , up and down, and just using our peripherals to the max. There were no building caught on fire, nor were there any accidents, just complete silent emptiness. Just us 5 and the things behind us, which I decided to ignore out of fear. The Van swerved constantly barely escaping the empty cars that were set up as obstacles. As Jay speedily drove further into town, we managed to escape. Nothing but hundreds of vehicles reflected on my side mirrors, as I stopped my fidgeting legs to a nice and complete halt.
“Do you guys have any idea what is going on?” Chelsea asked calmly. She too was looking around, gasping at the strange things she would see in the midst of the shadows. She would always shake her head as though she didn't really see anything. Denial always hits first I was told. “ whats wrong?“ Charlotte would always say. Her sister would always reply back with a gentle smile. “ haha, nothing I just saw a cat or something , no need to worry”
Surprisingly, the little one was able to sleep through all this . Tucked up in Charlotte's jacket and her head resting on her lap. As Charlotte ran through Samantha's brownish hair , she said to jay “ I..I..Never thanked you for ...” Jay quickly raised his eyes towards the rear mirror and said “ I'm just doing what any dude with a van would have done, honestly if I had a Porsche or something I would have just left you there! Haha just messing! “
The atmosphere inside the van dimmed down to a more friendly one, but yet the worries and the confusion ached their minds.
“hey, where we going bro? “ I said . “Honestly? I don't know hyung... I think we ditched those things 20 miles ago. “ I sighed . “ keep driving then … we good on gas? Shit. We'll fill up next station if we can.”
I turned on the radio to see if anything picked up, but nothing but static shot at our ears. The same songs that was repeated over and over on the stations became something of a luxury now. Only an hour has passed, and How I dreaded the silent car drive. The silence always brought questions unanswered, and no one to discuss it with.
In the back seat, Chelsea tilted her head leaning on the window as he stared into the sky. Every breath she took left imprints of her sorrow and worries onto the window which was her canvas. I guess it was safe to say, I liked her the moment I saw her.
“chel...chelsea was it? “ Her giant almond shaped eyes, and peacock feathered eye lashes shun at my direction. She looked quite tall, slim and I have to say ,pretty damn hot. She had long silky black hair which was probably the result of an excellent shampoo product.
“ Hm?” she said. “ I don't mean to be insensitive or anything, but where are your parents... is your friends around...? I mean , what I'm trying to say is... Look , my dad was there one moment and I turned around and he was gone! “ She didn't even look surprised.
“ Was he bleeding?” I looked astonished and said “ yea! It wasn't really noticeable at first but it started to come out of his pores on top of his head... I was gone just a moment to get some paper towels but when I looked back he was gone! “ Chelsea nodded.
“And... And.. by the way! what the HELL were those things following us!?” Jay started to snicker as he turned the car into an empty gay station. The weather was getting a bit harsh as the wind was getting stronger . I noticed the wind rocking our car side to side, and it made a creepy howling noise as it nudged between the trees. Jay turned towards me and said “ I have no idea what the hell they were. I never saw one up close, but as you can tell... I didn't want to stop and ask questions. I saw these three running from them, so I told them to get the hell in! “ I didn't know what to think.
“You know what I think...?” Charlotte said depressingly. “ I think we are already dead... we just can't find our bodies...” Chelsea looked appalled. “ Charlotte! That's creepy, don't say that! We aren't dead! Sweety why would you say that ? ”
“well what do you think they are then! Or why are we the only ones alive , and where is mom and dad! And why are we stuck with those two losers!” she said screaming and waving around with a dosage of a little bit of tears. Enters the little one who has awakened ,crying loudly like a coyote on acid. “shut up! Both of you! I'm sorry sammy go back to sleep! Oh my god, just calm down. Sam, just sleep it's okay, sleep! Do something Chelsea! ” My efforts to calm those too escalated the problem to a whole new level. I just sat back in my seat and let out a great big sigh... the same loser sigh I did this morning but with a little more oomph.
“ look for the sake of not confusing ourselves to death, let's just agree they are zombies. Okay?!” I said after reaching to a conclusion. “ Oh ...Hyung, you made her cry again..” Jay said. “ oh comon! You guys were thinking it too! Don't lie! Zombies , i'm telling you! Zombies! “

.“ Damnit... Look hyung i'ma go see if I can turn on these pumps, if i'm not back just leave , no i'm kidding DON'T leave me.” Jay quickly got out of the silver Sedona and ninja walked towards the gas pumps . He started to look around and looked completely lost out of his mind. “ what the hell are you doing Jay , hurry up ! “ I said while trying to calm the kids in the backseat. “ yo Hyung, I saw them do this shit in the movies once… where they just pump the gas in … how the hell did they do that?do I cut a pipe or what?”
“wait in here...” I said. With a frustrated grunt I pushed myself out of the van, and Approached the convenience store walking towards the register. I walked right in and the temptation filled my body... then I thought , it is more of an necessity then just mere temptation. I ran back outside and told the girls to quickly help me.
“ Look , I don't know how long were gonna be stranded like this,so we're gonna need food and lots of it. Chelsea take this bag and get all the drinks in the van! Charlotte get all the beef jerkies , and bread ! You know what...Just take everything!” As they quickly started to transport the food back and forth to the trunk, I jumped over into the cash register which had the computer still activated. “ what number are we !? “
Jay screamed out “12!”
“Premium it ! Might as well bro! Haha” I grabbed all the gum, candy , and those cute little lighters into my pocket. As I excitedly looted he place, I started to feel that gut feeling again .
“you guys?...” My words went to deaf ears, they were too busy filling the car. You could tell the excitement while they picked out what they wanted to eat, and for free mind you. However, I knew we didn't have all the time in the world, that strange feeling has come about me once again.
“ you guys! Hurry! I don't feel good about this ! Hurry , lets get back on the road! “

Always safe of the road

-Always safer on the road-
( temporary title) Short story. written by : TenchiJK

Rough draft, not edited. Read at your own risk :)
(So there I was staring at my bread crust looking ceiling wondering where my life had gone. I was 23 , lost in my dreams ... I slowly ushered myself up and gave a great big loser sigh.You know, the kind losers make when they run out of steam. Yea... That sigh. I was tired , hungry and most of all bored out of my mind.
I dreaded going down stairs to face my dad, who would give me the stink eye for still living under his 'damn-ouse' he would say. Thats "house" for you normal English speakers out there. Every morning I would see him sitting on the maple table top, with stacks of magazines and new papers in front. The smell of marlboro reds permeating , the mini-snauzer barking up a storm and the T.V blazin with no body watching it. My Dad always liked the random noises it made because it would be less awkward in the house.
Since I was a child, no matter what it was we would have the T.V on in the background, like ambiance or something. It was strangely comfortable, even for me. We never really talked much you see. My mother was so busy with work , and my dad too busy being a preacher it just wasn't straight in my household.
So like every other day I woke up, dressed into my pajamas , brushed my hair and proceeded to go downstairs. I noticed the Floor creaked a little , but didn't care so much and continued to walk down stairs. However as I got half way downstairs, I started to feel my senses rile up. Call it my 6th sense, I bet we have it . My nose started to feel tingly , and my spine started to shiver . It was strange , It was like I knew the future before it happened, maybe i'm physic!
Anyways, I remember my steps became much more careful knowing something was wrong Just didn't know what. My first reaction was somewhere along the lines of me getting my ass beat by my Dad, but I was wrong. So very wrong.
The T.V that always turned to comedy , sitcoms or news was nothing but white noise. Hissing at me , making my sense even more flared up. My body knew something was wrong, you'd have to have a skin made of stone not to feel this icky feeling. Shit was real i'm telling you!
The lights were on steady , and My father was no where to be found. The seat that I saw him sit every morning was empty , and the news papers were also missing in action. Subsconsciously I picked up an clothes hanger near by, hoping I can do more damage then normal to a thief or a murderer. Idiot.
"Dad...?" I said weakly. "dad.." I said again singsonging. I almost pissed myself when I saw my dad sitting on the couch. He looked asleep , and looked ever so peaceful. My heart just sank, and felt so relieved that nothing happened to him. I dropped the hanger, and I saw the reflection of my face in the mirror near by and just laughed . " ahhh you were scared!" I said pointing at myself. I started to organize some things on the table and decided to give him a blanket to keep warm. You know, what good Sons do. However As I got near I realized he looked really sick... I mean really sick. The top of his head where he doesn't have much hair was red, boiling almost with unnoticeable amount of blood coming out his pores. At first I thought it was just sweat, it must have been. But as I further examined his head I noticed it really was blood! I started to shake my father, but he wouldn't budge .
"shit...shit..." I started to panick, and decided to go online to check out some symptoms. My hands were dribbling the mouse as I tried to go online. No connection. My panicking sky rocketed and ran for the telephone. No tone. "what the hell!? what is going on!? " I ran back to check up on my dad and he was no longer there. "dad?!" I started to yell as I crumpled the items behind me . My heart was racing, and thumping , and the racing and thumping combined to form something humanly impossible. " Oh shit I saw this in a movie once, this is not good " I said to humor myself.
This whole time I realized I never looked out the window... As I hesitantly opened the front door I started to think of scenarios of what could happen. "What if I see that giant U.F.O from Independence day? "
When I opened the door, It was completely silent. The gush of wind blasted across my face which felt more like a sting then a breeze. I grabbed the hoodie behind me and cozied up as I continued to walk like I forgot what just happened with my dad. I noticed the cars were all parked outside , which was strange because every morning the cars would be gone because they would all go to work. I was more confused then scared now, curious as the monkey him self. George.
As I put my foot into the door, I heard the engine sound I was very familiar with. The Kia Sedona. The car was filled with 3 people and my friend Jay was driving the car. Immediately my fear went away and relief came about me like I went number deuces in my pants. But it wasn't for long. " Hyung , get in the car!!! Quick! lets go!" Jay said as he abruptly braked in front of me. The people behind the car looked terrified , and whimpering . And here I stood looking oblivious to whatever was happening. "dude, what the hell is going on man, my intern.." Before I the finish "internet" , jay screamed " Hyung, we don't have time for this !! trust me get in!"
I didn't hesitate anymore, I realized now something was afoot , and I could ask questions on the safety of the road. He told the people behind him to brace themselves and he punch the accelerator. The car screeched and tilted slightly as he started to pick up speed. I sat next to him in the co-poliet seat and I looked into the side mirrors. I did a double take.
"what the F-------! ??!!" I buckled my seat belts. And looked Jay straight in the eye and said, "DRIVVVVVEEE!" The Streets were empty. The Cars were empty. The building were empty. Our whole town was empty! Except for what was behind us. )

Lets be Politically correct

Dear Readers,

lets be politically correct for one gat damn second. This is about Thanksgiving . To me, Thanksgiving is no different then the situation with blood diamonds. You know very well people in Africa die in the thousands so ladies can wear a shiny stone on their finger. Now, people KNOW this... and knowingly what do they continuously say?
"well, what can we do about it? It's not like its gonna change... No need to complain about it ... etc etc " How about Not fucking getting a diamond? No? Its too much of a tradition? Worried about people looking down on you because your rock is too small? I wonder how small the African kid who found that rock was? 50 pounds? 40 pounds? And you still have the nerve to wear it proudly?
What about Thanksgiving? Do you realize there are thousands of Native Americans who protest that day every year. Year after year. They cry out to the public to stop this horrendous holiday. Or At least Change it, or call it something else. Because, to them it is a reminder of death, and betrayal. Yet are they heard? No, you hear this shit right here " Lets not be politically correct and just enjoy our meals " A.K.A " Fuck it , lets just eat, ignore those bastards"
Honestly, I don't celebrate thanksgiving for that exact reason.I wonder this sometimes,What if ... It wasn't Native Americans, what if it was Asians, or blacks, or Hispanic people instead. Would we still turn a blind eye and continue to stuff our faces , while they continuously hurt inside? One Ignorant ass person once told me . " I have an Indian friend, and he says he doesn't mind ... " That motherfucker doesn't represent the whole gatdamn nation. And just because one person says it okay , it doesn't make it right.
It's like Celebrating Hitlers birthday or someshit... And people tell you , " Yo, do you know what this day is about ? That fool killed millions of people ! " They would say " Man, that was the past, This day doesn't mean that anymore" Yea? Then why decorate your whole damn house with swastikas, dress your kids up as Hitler, and some kids as Jews. Then eat as a family telling them its a time of giving , and feeling thankful ... While the Jewish family next door is furious at the German household for celebrated such a day.
If you don't see the similarity then your fucking blind. Turkeys, pilgrim hats, Indian feathers and etc etc . Telling kids today is about togetherness and thankfulness, while infact you know thats not what the day was about. The Native American Parents teach those kids differently... and are feeling offended year after year.
People say, why complain about it , we can't do nothing about it. Yes the fuck you can! Stop celebrating that Gatdamn holiday. Or Change the theme . Doing a little to change something is a hundred times better then Knowing, and still doing it like your oblivious to it.

My visit to hawaii

Dear Readers,

Hawaii... Pretty damn expensive mang! lol... Though I was expecting it, but dayum~ it really is expensive. And the food quality is off by miles... I honestly thought food would be exceptional there, However we califorians are too SPOILED. Cali + NY has the best restraunts around, thats a FACT.
I Never thought I'd get tired of the beach... but yep, it happens. The beach is about 50 feet away from where I'm living at... but often times, I don't even look at the beach as I walk right past it . Its sad really, I always thought waking up to a beach horizon would be the ideal wake up. But, nah... Like all things it becomes dull. The salty ocean breeze, and humid atmosphere. Not for me .
Can't say that about my Gf however~ I truly enjoy my time with her ! Though there are few awkward moments, and times when we share our human flaws... but overall She is a very wonderful host, and the kindest person I ever met. She always tends to my uncomfort , and does my dishes, laundry and even cleans up my clumsy messes... I'm always so thankful she does it out of love, and not JUST because. I love when we cuddle and talk quietly about whatever we want too.. and through this trip we have made so many inside jokes... from mostiquitos hanging on my cargo pants, narwals, nazi bites, war on communism on my legs and plenty more that will make NO sense to any of you all.

Also, her mother has shown me nothing but kindness ... allowing me to stay at her place , eat her food, drive her car, and even let me sleep in her daughters room. To me.. this is fuckin mind boggling. Only in hawaii is this possible?
The people here is hella awesome as well~ I met this older lady who works with My gf mother... and I talked to her for about 10 minutes~ and she liked me so much, she gave me 50 dollars so I can get myself a christmas present. How sweet is that really? Of course I ended up using it all on movie, ramen, candy and some anti-itching cream ( not for my balls! I got some nasty fire ant bite by the beach).
So far so Good~ But I have to say, there is no place like home. No matter how small, or crappy your home may be... Home is always where its at. I can take a shower in peace, go to the kitty box in peace... take as much time as you fcking want without the risk of people accidentally coming in and making a commotion. Home is always craved when I'm away for a long time.
Now that the time to go home is slowly coming my way, I don't feel regret or sorrow. But a more hopeful heart. Through this visit I feel our relationship has become that much stronger, and I know it will continue to be stronger in the near future. But , I can't wait to go home and eat some shabu shabu!! XD
Also, I feel very re-charged.. and ready to tackle some youtube video mania~ And I hope you all can give me some ideas , and support me till I get somewhere XD . take care all! and its your friend , and brother Tenchijk.

Read this my Brothers and sisters and Know!

Dear Readers,

I will attempt to open your eyes about Christianity, and it many attackers. I want to reveal Satan's tricks and his disease amongst the nation. I will try to keep it simple, and straight to the point.

Many new conspiracies are coming about. Mostly about Kemet... Saying Christianity is based off Egyptian mythology, and its irrefutable similarities. I admit, as I was researching these theories I was shocked ... very shocked. Do not be mistaken, I wasn't shocked because I believed it to be true. I was shocked because how it close it LOOKED to the truth, but leaving no room to truly explain to non-believers.
To explain and defend this "conspiracy" it would take s much understanding of Our own beliefs. The Sad reality is, most Christians today have no knowledge of the bible... they are a rifle with no bullets... While there accusers are loaded with machines -guns.

The scariest part is this. True Christianity is buried underneath hundreds of false leaders, pretenders and representatives that don't really represent us at all. False Christians involved in free-masonry, illumanti, and especially the roman catholic church. Non- believers will use them as a source to condemn all true Christian. Without even us a second look, they stereotype us thinking they represent us as a whole.

There is a saying. As much as God works, Satan is right along side with him. That is the truth ladies and gentleman. Satan is always there countering God's every move. Making human beings further and further away from the truth. Truth that is buried with false-teachings that LOOK like its the truth. My father once told me what the scariest thing is this. " Things that are false , but look more true then truth itself"

The theory of Kemet is as follows. The Egyptians came up with the story of Jesus and the resurrection ... everything that we read in the bible is somewhat correspondent to the history of kemet they say. They Say Kemet was predominately a Black race , and its the Whites who took their story and made into what we believe as now as Christianity. -Now in the eyes of non-believers, this seems so correct, and evidence seems to support this theory. Only because what they are comparing too is NOT really Christianity.

They are using pagan catholicism and labeling it as "Christianity". Pictures of Mary and Jesus was supposedly Isis and her baby. The pictures look just like the ones catholics and those who falsely represent Christianity used to draw. -REAL Christians did no such art. They never regarded Mary to be a deity, or even someone close to worship. It was the pagan beliefs of Constantine who indeed stole ideas from the Egyptians, the Babylonians, and of course Greek mythology. (among other beliefs)

The catholic church killed millions of True Christians who had the true gospel, and murdered everyone who admitted to the salvation of Christ. They burned them at the stakes, TORTURED them , and mutilated women and children. Now... was this humans that did this? By all means NO! It was SATAN. He used the very essence that was supposed to SAVE us , into a weapon to kill millions. Used the Saviour himself to send millions to hell. Satan is so clever , his actions are untraceable , to the naked eye anyways.

The Inquisition. A deadly act, not of God, but by the will of Satan. It clearly says in God's words that no man shall do the work of God. Only God does his will. But yet Satan was still there , lingering around the world to make sure people use the word of God for evil, not righteousness. God Forgave all, accepted all and gave people love and embrace. While Satan, used God words to segregate the supposedly "holier" group from the supposedly more "evil" group. But this is Not God's teaching.

Now moving on to the present. The truth has been Swallowed by hundreds of years of tyranny by King Satan like I mentioned several times above. But, now that time is at it peak. It's scary times ladies and gentleman. The truth will now be COMPLETELY swallowed. Where we will have to stand firm with no evidence on our side.

We will look like FOOLS. We won't be able to open our mouths, but only have the TRUTH inside our hearts. Truth needs NO explanation. Our God above had given us the GRACE, and MERCY to believe in what we believe in. -That we are ALL equal. That we all equally were SAVED by our Lord Jesus Christ. That his Motive is non other then to save us from our wickedness, and this world of sin! That his Purpose is to send us all to Heaven, and live in his everlasting kingdom forever!

But , now that the time is NEAR. Satan is getting restless. And using all ammunition. Bombarding the nations after nations with his teachings. Non-believers are getting more evidence to support their own beliefs... that there is no God, that there is No salvation. That there is no hell. But, There IS a Hell. And Satan and the thoughts from Satan is whats keeping you away from the simple truth of God... and He will drag you to hell along with him. Hell was Not made for humans, but for Satan... but Satan will stop at no cost to take everyone he can with him.

However do not falter my sisters and brothers in Christ. Even though The road will ONLY get harder, and the roads only Steeper. Be strong we got Jesus in our hearts to guide our ways, till the end of time.
People will no longer give you credit for what you speak. If you speak the word of our lord we will be made mockery of! And Indeed we will be segregated once again! Not of COLOR, not of RACE, But because of our Belief In our GOD. Our God is NOT from the paganistic beliefs of Egyptian. Our God is not to be mistaken as a Racist. Our God is Our father in Heaven, and hallowed by THY NAME!

-TenchiJk-

The Hawaii Miracle.

Dear Readers,

Life finally seems to take it easy on me. The tempest calmed down, and the sun started to glimmer across the sea. My prayer has been answered , and in the most unexpected way.

My Life has been so difficult lately, and I was seriously on my last pegs... Just ready to throw everything away and call it quits... but in the midst of all that, I remembered God. Why would he put me in this conditions... these damned situations. Why? Later on I realized it was all for my benefit. If God had blessed me sooner, would I have appreciated his works? Would I have second looked at an certain event and see it as a miracle?

Before, when I was going through difficulty, everything seemed like coincidences. Random events. But, going through hard times allowed me to see things in a different light.I Started to appreciate the little things I had in the past I took for granted. Cars I thought was cheap, and crappy was something that was out of reach now. No more bmws, or benz for me. But yet, I still rejoiced for the fact i had health and strength for the most part...

But through stress, and toils I started to lose my health and strength as well.
I couldn't sleep at night because of the worries of tomorrow. What shall I eat, how shall I proceed with this problem after the next problem.
What came after was fear. Would my life forevermore be like this? I was truly scared , and devastated .

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away I had a love one who was dying to meet me . A loved one who actually cared for me... Cried for me. Longed for me. And I too longed for her so dearly, but yet the measly things in life just kept us apart. You cannot fathom the frustration that came with that. Being so close, but unable to meet. Wanting to touch her skin, and hug her but cannot.
I kept judging myself , thinking why cannot I not even go see her... Why am I in this position of not affording the simplest of things. I was truly gone in my heart. I gave up.

Then a miracle happened. To others it might seem pathetic, and might not see it more then generosity. But, for me... it was nothing less of a miracle. A lady read my blog one day, and messaged me . I replied back with a common greeting ... which led to her wanting to support me going to Hawaii. I gladly accepted thinking it would be a modest contribution, some where along the line of 10-20 dollars. However, the next day I had just enough for a plane ticket...

I fell to my knees and prayed to God... Finally things are looking up... My life might have not changed conditionally, but this one event alone just gave me Hope! Hope, that in an instances things can change! Right now in the present things may look harsh, and it seems like it will never pass ... BUT IT DOES! It really does pass, and you see a new light! And this new light ... ladies and gentlemen is ... beautiful.

So to you, my miracle worker... Thank you. You were sent by God to get me back on my feet. A tool from God to make me walk in faith and Hope. I will never forget you and your help.
My love and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts. You helped me when I was at my lowest, so when I am at my greatest I will abundantly show you my gratitude.

-TenchiJk-

Daily Bread 2

Dear Readers,

Still here? I'm glad :) . I was having an conversation with some former military buddies, and the "don't ask don't tell " issue came up. For those who are unfamiliar with it- it is a law that states gays are not allowed in the military. If you happened to be gay, you need to keep it a secret, or else the law will take into effect.

I remember making a video a while back about this. However, I feel I need to clarify things with words. If someone asked me if I was against gays, I would say no, but I have my reasons why.

Many Christians would point that it is a sin. How dreadful is the bickering of sin, sin , and more sin. Sin is an disconnection from God... not necessarily an action. For example, Adam and eve. Most people think eating the apple it self is sin, but if you read the book of genesis more thoroughly, you would catch onto some things.

Eve, gazed upon the tree and thought it looked Good to eat. Sure, that sound harmless in itself... but you have to realize something. God told Eve , and of course Adam, that if you eat of the tree of knowledge of Good and Evil, ye shall surely die. He didn't say, you will maybe die, or kinda die... you will surely die. Now, IF, Eve really had a connection with God, or had TRUST in God. And if she then looked unto the fruit, it would look like a DEATH fruit.

Lets say, I'm a father . I have a son. Tenchi Jr. I tell him, son don't ever eat this apple . It's filled with rat poison, and it will kill you! If My sons trusted me, would that apple even look good to eat? Knowing that fruit will kill him? or has rat poison in it? No right?

A better example... Lets say I have an ice-cream... And my daughter wants to eat it so badly. But I tell her, a giant bird took a big doo doo on it. If she trusted my words, would she look at this ice cream and think... MMMM~~ No, she would be like YUCK!

However, if my daughter didn't trust me... she thinks i'm stupid, or thinks i'm not serious, or just plain old lame papa... she would think what? There is no doo doo in that ice cream.. pfft, what does he know... it looks good to me . "it looks good to me~"

Thats what essentially happened between Adam,eve and God. Disconnection. Thus led to the Action of the sin, but sin enter before all that... sin entered the moment there was doubt in Eves heart.

Now, with a more clear understanding of Sin. Who is right in front of our God? The gay man? the straight man? We've all been disconnected by God through those two individuals... Only through Christ are we connected again. So once again, we as human beings have no right to judge . We were all shapened in sin, and saved all together into righteousness through the mercy, and grace of God.

The reason why people can judge another, is because they never truly took a look at themselves. When I looked deep inside my heart, I had no room to judge . I was so Flawed , and wicked, and evil in so many ways... without Jesus in my heart, it would just be a desolate wasteland...

And because I saw myself... how can I dare judge another? How can I say stop living the way you do! When I my self can't change the way I am.

But, something that needs to be mentioned is this. Whether you are gay or straight God does not care. He TRULY does not care about your sexual orientation. We are ALL FLAWED. EVERYONE of us. However, we all need to have faith in our lord Christ.. who washed away our sins completely. I have no idea if your life style would change in Christ.. whether you turn straight or not... Honestly, some say they can change in Christ... some stay the same, but they still have faith in Christ.

I know some born again gay people, and they are very bold in their faith. Which is awesome. They say, I know being gay is a sin. but, Jesus washed those away too. I have no reason to feel condemned, because Jesus had mercy on me. Some Christians might take that and say, WHAT? But, that is faith beyond faith. To throw away your guilt, because of the faith in Christ is an amazing faith. He refused to see himself as he sees himself, but saw himself through Christ.

overall, the convo I had with those military friends didn't end well... but I'm really Glad, God has allowed my heart be free from judging them. Because, we have ALL fallen short of the Glory of God, and we ALL have been made Holy/righteous through the Faith in Christ. Whatever your orientation. That - is the mercy that our Lord gives unto us. if you have time to protest, GO WITNESS THE GOSPEL INSTEAD.

-TenchiJk-

Daily Bread 1

Dear Readers,

Today I want to talk to you guys about Cain and Abel. In Genesis, we know these two characters very well. The "good" son, and the "bad" son we were taught. But , I want you to take it a step further and think about it for a second. Of course, your buddy Tenchijk will be right there helping you get the bigger picture :).

First of all, There is a scene in the bible were God rejects Cain, and accepts Abel. Have you ever wondered why? Was Abel any better then Cain? Was Abel such an outstanding guy? By all means, thats all speculation... we just assumed that is the case , because thats how we set our standards of what Good and bad is.

Cain and Abel is a reflection of our lives in a way. Often then not, we are like Cain. Just like him we toil day and night . We sweat from our brows , and we give it our best. We take what we have done, and we set it before God's feet, and say " accept this Lord, this is MY hard work" . But, what do we always get in return? A cold shoulder perhaps? A prayer not answered... Most likely rejection.

Is it because our God is unfair? Is it because he is a Jerk that just wants to ruin our life? No way ! It is us who don't understand .

Abel Offered God something small, but it was the "right" offering. Abel didn't do much in his part, but the sacrifice itself did ALL the work, and in return Abel took all the glory. Cain on the other hand, worked Night and day. FARMING, is no joke people!
A lot of people think God rejected Cain because he only gave a part of his earnings, or he didn't work hard enough. That's BALONEY sandwich! Think about what goes into Farming. You toil the ground, taking out all the rocks and stones. You then pull the weeds out... then you do that thing-a where ya make that line in the ground.. >..> what was that called ?T_T... then you put the seed... give it water ... wait till it grows... days and days, months even. When it finally Grows, You then pick your crops... THEN YOU OFFER it to God. WHEW!

While Abel did what? Stand around... walked around. Maybe Played the harp next to the sheep... When the sheep was eating , he'd maybe lay about in the sun and sleep. Then when the mama sheep laid a baby.. he Snatched the poor thing and gave it to God. But yet God was Pleased with Abel.

WHAT!? So unfair ! Or is it? Abel, Had a relationship with God. How else did Abel know what to give to God. He knew the only sacrifice God would take was the sacrificial Lamb. Would Abel just one day wake up and say.. hey you know what would be AWESOME!? Lol


It shows Abel asked his parents for Guidance, Parents ,who HAD relationship with God. Abel ASKED, " father... I do not know God... I want to please him, what will he accept?" The father would simply rely " God, accepts the lamb :), because the lamb is the only thing(at the time) that can take away sins " On the Other hand.. Cain, what was he doing? He didn't care for God much did he.He only cared outwardly, but not in his heart.
He cared Only in his OWN actions. His OWN works. He trusted in HIM self. He thought if he Does his best, God will accept him . This is the same thought most people have in this world. They think, " ahh, the amount of work I do for God, Man... he is a G, he will accept me! DO you know how much offering I pay!!? Dude I'm set for heaven . etc etc " All in their own head. They don't bother finding out what exactly God wants.

Anyway, when it came time to give offering. Who did God accept? Abel right? Not because Abel was a better person.

If it came down to humanly goodness, Cain is far superior is he not? He is stronger, more built from working the farm, pulls his own weight around the house, he does more work and he is probably more respected for the things he does around the village. While , Abel is the loser, who is weak and etc etc .

But The only thing mattered was what? The condition of these two people? no way. It was only the sacrifice that really mattered . God would have rejected Abel if he gave what Cain offered, and vise versa. Same in our lives, Would God accept the Things of this world? or Just The Lamb? (Jesus)


Cain and Abel, shows us our heart in its very nature. Most of us want to go to heaven with the deeds they have, or will accomplish in their life. However, that will lead only to failure. Why would Cain kill Abel ?

Cainn Killed Abel, because he was SOOOOOOOO upset. So upset, because he GAVE IT HIS ALL! He serrriously gave God his ALL. FULL heartedly . Sincerely. Truthfully. He naturally thought in his head, the amount of Heart he put into this ,God will SURELY accept. But he rejected him as quickly as he accepted Abel's simple offering. All because Cain didn't ASK, or even BOTHER to Find out what God wants. If He knew, he wouldn't have gave the wrong offering , and wouldn't have killed his brother out of bitterness.



Like wise-
God will not accept Human deeds, God will not accept Human goodness. ONLY Jesus. The Goodness we do must come from Jesus to be accepted and then Valid. However, without the "lamb" we are just Abel without an offering. Abel by himself is nothing. He does nothing. Is Worth nothing. However, Abel with the offering , he is everything .

The kingdom of Heaven is through Jesus, and him alone. Not by your actions, or your deeds. How much Good deeds can you accomplish in your life time? Consider this... Imagine there is a bucket . A giant bucket. And to pass regulation, this bucket needs to have 3 million gallons of water in it. So imagine how BIG this bucket is.

Some people are so arrogant that they feel they can fill this bucket on their own. They see only a "portion" of this bucket, that they are oblivious to the fact that it's impossible to fill it all. To make it worse, imagine there is a HOLE in the bucket, size of a basketball. You fill maybe 100 gallons a day...some better people fill 200 gallons, but if it leaks out 500 gallons... Your in the same boat. EVEN if you were to fill 1000, 10,000 ... you would be able to fill it. That is what SIN is like . Some are better then others so they sin less, but they still have an empty Bucket.. Just a little bit more filled then the next. However, if the bucket isn't to the brim continuously , you do not pass. However, people use this against another... "My bucket is filled 3%... ur only at 1 %... "
" My bucket is at 40% !! " " look at your patethic bucket, I see the metal in yours"
But does 40% pass the regulation? Nope. 100% needed ... insufficient. How much do you think he would complain? WHAT!! I DID MY BEST! I TRIED MY BEST! I GAVE IT MY ALL!! HOW COULD YOU! <----- sound familiar? Thats Cain right there.



Now imagine , you got some help.. Help from someone really powerful... that says, "I can fill this bucket not with just 3 million gallons, but I have an everlasting waterfall... That pours 50 trillion gallons a second . That never dries forever. You get where I'm going with this... lol

The bucket obviously symbolizes Us and Sin. And how we will never be able to accomplish what the law set us out to do. Some will be better at it then others, but all in all, you cannot fill the bucket to the brim. However, Their are some who are humble enough to see that they are unable to fill this bucket. They have lost all trust in themselves, and they are in need to trust in something more powerful. They saw themselves for what they are... Screwed . So when they hear of the GOOD news. Of a Man who gives out FREE WATER! FREE LIFE! FREE HELP!

YOU TAKE IT MAN! You don't look back, or wonder why, or should I? No, you gain faith.. and you take his salvation. AND PUT your trust in HIM.
I hope this has helped you think further into salvation. Stay with God y'all.

-TenchiJk-

Ambw drama

Dear Reader,

So much freakin drama over this crap... So exhausting eh?well for me anyway .

You know , i'ma speak my mind honestly here. If you get offended so be it. I feel Black woman got it really bad... not because of the media, but because of certain diseased black women. I might be too bold to say this of course, but over the time As I observed black women... I saw many who tried to get back up, and move as a whole unit. I saw many who were hurt because of the media, and in their negative experiences. However, Many, probably 80% of them stood their ground and they praised God that they were still Blessed. They had hope things will be better, and things will definitely change one day. AND IT WILL.

But! There is SOOOO many within the Bw community that just KILLSSSSS it for the rest of them. It's like they are playing tug of war... and all the beautiful, strong and willing black women are pulling there hardest. They have there feet in the ground, hands blistering ,and sweating. And these negative ass black women just standing there, complaining at the black women saying why you even trying? we ain't even gonna win, why try? Your nothing to them and you know it! You think they will give u the time of day?! Just bickkkering motherfuckers!

It breaks my heart to see these good black women who just ignore the haters, and they look towards the sky, sighing , wishing they would get support. But there are haters on the opposing side who is talking shit also . So in a sense, there hearing shit from BOTH sides. From black women and the enemy (who ever it may be) .

And as I see this happening, I get sooooo fuckin fustratedd! Thats why I spend hours and hours a day replying to all these negative ass black women. They say the WOOOOORSSTTTT shit. AND I told you guys before that shit was happening... But you know what y'all told me then? NO~ they are just white guys pretending to be Bw, or they are angry bm etc etc.. NO THEY WEREN'T. I knew from the start they were angry bw, but I kept it to myself.. and defended you guys till my fuckin fingers bled.

I had so much arguments with my ex gf because I would spend all my time on youtube replying to negative people. Here is the thing ladies and gentleman.. IF they were saying SHIT TO ME? I would pass it by like it ain't no thang. But, they are talking SHIT about MY Fans and subscribers. Saying shit about the good black women in my site. And you know how fuckin frustrating that is?!!!! Take Rahni Oates for a second, shes the greatest Black women I've ever met in my life. Shes a bit older then most, but she has so much class and poise and she just blows my mind away with her aura. But! these negative ass Mofos talking SHIT about her, Not only her but PLENNNTY of others who are just so positive , and energetic.

There are many times where I would try to ignore it, but it would EAT AT ME. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY ABOUT HER, OR HER?! WHAT ABOUT YOU!? WTF DID YOU EVER DO FOR THE COMMUNITY!? And just one after another... and I would just lose my damn mind!

Anyway.

I talk to many of my fans on facebook, and I talk to them daily. Many are hurt not from other men, but from OTHER black women, or black men. It's so cruel to see ! It's like these wonderful bw are building a beautiful tower made of gold for the world to see, but these damn trolls , negative ass bitches , just tear it down. I think it's because they know they've done NOTHING for the community, and they KNOW they won't GET SHIT in return. And they don't DESERVE shit. and thats a FACT.

I know most of my black female fans KNOW how much I care for all of you. I've shown it many times not through youtube, but through my actions via facebook, blogtv , blogs etc etc. I often try to show and tell you guys how I really feel. But damnit, my life hasn't been so damn good lately!
I've been going through a lot of hard times! Thus looking towards God more... but people are so selfish to tend to there own needs, and they turn a blind eye to my problems. Like I'm not even human so I don't feel pain like the rest of them... Pleaseee, I'm going through hell and back these days.

you know that girl friend people are trippin about?!

I've NEVER met my girlfriend YET! I've been dating her for 8 months.. and I've never met her in real life... CUZ I can't even make the gatdamn money to go see her. TRUST ME, i want to see her sooo bad. Makes me want to cry my eyes out.. how pathetic my life has become that I can't even make the funds to see her. People don't even realize how difficult my relationship is with my gf now, but they are so busy saying, "oh... shes not black... he doesn't practice what he preaches.. what a douche-bag... I knew he was a phony... he doesn't really care... he never cared for black women ... he , he , he" MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I SPENT ONLINE FIGHTING FOR YOU ! Let me please try just live my life ... PLEASSSSSEEE ... I BEG YOU !! PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why i like cats.

Oh hai there~
Box muncher , ahaha~ this is such a cute cat.. Look at it's freakin eyeeesss! ahhh ... I how the mouth area is all :3!!!

me like chokolate... mew mew.. mai tail looks like choko! meowww! nom nom nom~



yea okay, enough cats for now ahah~

Dear readers,

Do you know why I like cats? You wouldn't have guessed but I used to HATTTTTE cats. I was one of those kids that used to get annoyed with anything catish... I just liked Dogs, and puppies and shit like that. But it all changed ,and I know why. It isn't because they are cute, or adorable looking.. because back then, even the cutest kitteh didn't phase me.. just eh~

But there was this girl I used to like. Typical TenchiJk drama ahha, but foreals. I was like in kid love with her. There were several girls at the time who were interested me ... but her... she NEVER liked me. She always looked at me with disgust, like she knew I was an arrogant prick or something. ( I was >.< ) And because she was so .. hard to get in a sense, my WHOLE attention went to her... needless to say, I didn't get much attention back. Damn whorrree!! Jkjk .. So I gave up, and just pursued my dating career elsewhere, where the waters were more friendly and not shark infested. However, these sixes(barracudas) weren't doing me any justice... I wanted that KILLER WHALE(8ish), SHAMU up in this bitchhhh.. So my attention kinda went back to her..

Like always she wouldn't give me the time of day... But one day, as I was stalking the shit outta her.. I found out, You guessed it, she LOVES CATS. Ahahah... and so I started to try to get into it myself.. to kinda, i dunno ... LURE her? Maybe i'd have something to say ? But you can't force someone to like something you know? And true to that testament, i really couldn't like cats... It was forced.

But one day, I overheard her talking to one of her friends, Cause i'm a stalking bastard ahah. And I overheard her saying that I reminded her of one of her cats. Bam~ I realized, OHHH SHIET~~ she might actually like me then? she likes cats,she thinks cats are cute, I am this cat, thus I am cute and she likes me!?

Later I found out her cat LOOKED UGLY AS SHID.


This cat rah here lol.

Long story short... I ended up getting mad at her. We were KINDA friends.. you know the kind were you just say hi once in a while. Have a little chit chat now and again.. but it gets too awkward so we don't say much. One of THOSE. So I got frustrated , or mad at her ... and I just blew up at her face. Saying my complaints, which now that I think about it was all because I liked her ahahha, silly me.

I ended up confessing how I really felt, and etc etc .. and after a lonnnnng awkward silence, and My eyes hopefully gazing upon her face.
She told me , she thought I was cute and liked me in a way, but I reminded her too much like her brother ... who passed away. eee.. I was like ouch. But did that stop me? no way~ I kept pushing it, while giving her a bit of space..of course, like a gentleman *tips hat* and then I asked her out. I had a happy 2 year with her... and Her dad moved her away to germany.. and never got to see her again.

But, the love for Cats some how remained... It's not necessarily because it reminds me of her, but I understand why people like them so much now. They ARE cute, and freakin Adorable... So I just wanted to tell you all a short, but relevant story to why I like cats :). Meow meow!

CATURDAY!

-TenchiJk-

to my blog readers

Dear readers ,

This is just a friendly reminder that I do indeed read your comments. However, unlike Facebook or you tube, i find it extremely hard replying back to them individually due to the length and massive content in it.

One comment said she could not read me , because I am good at hiding myself. I completely agree. I got to a point in my life where I truly don't know who I am anymore. The way I present myself has always been forced by a situation or a condition.

For example, the way I talk . Though being brought up in a urban city, and having a lot of black influences, I CHOSE to be this way. I remember I used to hate being Asian, and used to hate speaking like the "white man" . I was torn by racism as a kid, and it just left a sour taste in my mouth. Thats when I forced myself into a different world, where things seemed more free. however, it proved to lead me towards a more negative direction.

I wanted to be invisible, and alone. However, I brought more attention to myself with the choices I made in my life. The people I decided to hang out with completely changed who i was. Deep inside my soul, there was my original self, telling me to throw away this mask I wore. All the same, I was scared to be who i was. More and more as times went on, the masks piled on. Layer after layer... slowly forgetting who I was. Ditching my identity to become some "thing" different. As I started to grow older, I was stuck in this casting I created . Years of calluses doesn't go away so easy, and origin of my nature was just lost.

What I'm simply trying to say is, I don't know who I am. I've been influenced with so many things, and I've became them. I can't say I'm making this all up, because I feel what I feel. I completely believe what I believe. But, deep down inside I feel like a lost soul wishing to just see a glimpse of what I am truly.

What scars I have you all may never know, and what pains I have stored I wish to not share. However, what I did learn from all the misadventures of my life is that, life is fickle. You get hurt if you do not form a defense. Nevertheless, your defenses will always break... always. Then you will find yourself lost once again, searching and searching. I believe thats when you find serenity. Calm , submissive , and your spirit gives up to a higher power. Out of your own stubborn mouth you start to confess your evilness. Things you would never think to say , or admit in the past. But, in the burning surface of your heart you let go all inhibitions and just let go. You tell this higher being everything you are ,and are not. Then you find your true nature...

So the top few paragraphs are indeed my thoughts in the past. Because I know exactly who I am. When I found my true self, it wasn't pretty. It wasn't the reflection in the cool still waters I was expecting. It wasn't as clean as I once hoped .

There, waiting for me was not myself, but a demon. Lurking about, telling me this is who you are, this is all you are. My mind and my soul fought diligently , convincing this demon I am NOT you, You are NOT me. Later in the midst of battle, the lieutenant which is my soul falls on it's own sword. My mind left alone unable to fend of the demons which that rushes me. In that midst, I saw a hand . A golden hand ,a peaceful grip, and a wonderful caress. A Saviour.

This man tells me, I no longer need be alone... No longer do I need to fight alone. You may not have strength but I have all the strength to the ends of the earth. In me, there is tranquility, peace, love and spirit. With the shield of Faith he comforts me, and with his righteous might he avenges me. He shelters me in his kingdom, and let no evil enter it's holy doors. Keeping me near by to heal my wounds, and bring me to happiness. I knew who I was .

I no longer mattered in the equation, but only his name . Whether i was confused , whether i was lost, the Sheppard did not care. I am but a lamb, lost in the vast field. He leads me to the green pastures allowing me to play and enjoy life... but when I am lost, he finds me till he finds me. The joy of having such a God, is my blessing. So I know who I am.

I am a son, I am his son, and I am righteous through his lovely sacrifice. The remembrance of that gives me all the peace I need. This is my own personal psalm, just like king David who lived before us. This is my song I sing to our heavenly father above .

I guess i need to end this with an amen?


-TenchiJk-

Life is a melody

Dear Readers,

I , for the first time found a woman I can completely share my troubles with. I don't know how grateful I am to have found such a woman. This girl is so kind, and wonderful it just puts in at awe. She is so far away from me , but yet she feels so close ... Of course the pain of not being able to hold her and kiss her gets in the way. However, if I had to wait for someone it would most definitely be her. Today reminded me of how much I love her, and that it doesn't matter the distance. I have a return of passion in my heart, and I have the strength to keep on loving. I truly wish this relationship works out, because I have never found anything more pure, and real. This is the first real relationship where its foundation lies in our hearts, and our minds first. Physical comes next. Overall, I feel a giant load off my back, and I feel anew once again.


Recently, I've been going through troubles I really cannot post online ... I really wish I could tell my fans and subscribers, however as you all know that isn't all that possible now. Life is difficult at the moment, as it is with all of you all... just a bit complicated thats all. I pray God will rescue me out of this mess i'm in, and let me smile truly once again. I don't think I've genuinely smiled in a long time. I smile , laugh and dance for you all in the video, but as some of you know there is a crying boy inside. I really wish crying would stop and I really wish I can grow stronger.

I've become numb to the world, and I've become numb to myself. I really wish to escape this world, and go on ahead to some where peaceful... but life still beckons me to stay, and finish what I have came here to do. Will I grow old and dusty, or prematurely journey on to the next life? These are some questions I ask my self daily for no particular reasons... it just comes to me . It frighten me.

With all this said, I feel I won' t be thankful for what I have. however, I can' t deny the fact I got it better then most people. But my problems are difficult because they are set at my level. They are difficult for me, and I find it hard to defeat this problem. I just hope it gets better, i want it to stop hurting. I want to stop crying. I just want it to all stop.

I guess when I write these things, my emotions crawl out. It's amazing how my fingers transpose the music of my soul... it captures the empathy, like a symphony. My anger into melodies... and sadness flows together with the anger like a harmony. I'm the composer who waves the magic wand, wishing to control the tempo... wishing the world would slow down and bring it down a flat.

I don't know what I just wrote... but that is what I wrote. I must be losing my mind.

Your friend,

Tenchijk

silly poem of

Random silly poem, cuz 4 people wanted it lol.

There was a cat.
he was a complete ass hat
no literally, his ass was made out of a hat

but he was no ordinary cat

he was half bat.

so naturally he had wings
made with strings packaged and sent from beijing

so this ass hat cat with his ass really made from hats
thought he was a king
with a purse on his side , he called it a sling.

but we ALL knew it was a purse.

being gay and unable to hide it was his curse.

There was a dog.
this dog was mutated with a hog.
so he was half pig.
and for rhyming sakes he wore a wig.
so this dog ,half hog who wore a wig
was also a king.
He always envied the ass cats wings.
looked on e-bay for such and things.
but came up short.
like the dog-hogs dick.
But just like a dog, he knew alot of tricks.

There was a pig-bat,
who wanted to be a cat
wanted to be a dog
but was sadden daily because he was written in this blog.

Never once thought he'd be written in a silly poem as this....
so he died . >.> yes. he died. Because i said so.

the ass cat, and dog-hog got over their differences and lived happily ever after.

Tell me this isn't the most randomiest thing you've read today.

-TenchiJk-

*whisper* click the *cough * ads* cough ... I make *cough* bit of mawney *cough cough*

silly poem

Random silly poem, cuz 4 people wanted it lol.

There was a cat.
he was a complete ass hat
no literally, his ass was made out of a hat

but he was no ordinary cat

he was half bat.

so naturally he had wings
made with strings packaged and sent from beijing

so this ass hat cat with his ass really made from hats
thought he was a king
with a purse on his side , he called it a sling.

but we ALL knew it was a purse.

being gay and unable to hide it was his curse.

There was a dog.
this dog was mutated with a hog.
so he was half pig.
and for rhyming sakes he wore a wig.
so this dog ,half hog who wore a wig
was also a king.
He always envied the ass cats wings.
looked on e-bay for such and things.
but came up short.
like the dog-hogs dick.
But just like a dog, he knew alot of tricks.

There was a pig-bat,
who wanted to be a cat
wanted to be a dog
but was sadden daily because he was written in this blog.

Never once thought he'd be written in a silly poem as this....
so he died . >.> yes. he died. Because i said so.

the ass cat, and dog-hog got over their differences and lived happily ever after.

Tell me this isn't the most randomiest thing you've read today.

-TenchiJk-

*whisper* click the *cough * ads* cough ... I make *cough* bit

lamest insult poem ever.

So i was at the mail store. Or whatever the hell you call those places ... AHH! postal offices . And the line was huge... and there was 3 people that just DROVE ME NUTS.

There was this FAT ass bearded guy who would talk soo much shit in line, and a OLD granny who aLSO talked so much trash, and of course the ed hardy wearing, female voiced individual.. SO I wrote a little Poem to remember them by.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I'll punch you in the mouf
and turn your lips Blue.

Then I'll look at you true.
with my eyes so wide.
and tell you honestly your ass is too wide.
Lose some weight i'll tell ya, waving my fists
And moan and grin at the sight of your neck cists ( NASTY)
you might slap me, but fuck UUU!!


It's all them fast food you be eating.
Nasty ass, you need to get your act together!
when you walk past me , I feel like the world changed its weather
light turned into night, and if I had cows they would turns instantly into leather.
Cuz of the heat you produce.
Speaking of Produce, not fruits or veggis(which you need to eat more of),
You need acupuncture, medicine, or a shock from Zeus.
get that Food of your mind.
Go for a jogg or something... put your body to some good use.
Cuz YOu bigger then a damn moose!

Dear old lady,

What chu looking at you old HAG!
Walking around acting like you got bwebs, but you know they sag .
From here to there to Timbuktu .
Sagging like noodles stretched out ,put them back in, this ain't no ZOO!
So old and shit... your skin feels like the insides of a bamboo.
Also, lady i forgot to mention, your teeth looks like 3 midgets rowing a canoe.
sorry, small people. I'm just gonna pass through.

Dear Mister Douche,
Oh look at this GUY! Skinny jeans, ed hardys on. You know your a douche.
Your the sound a toilet makes when shit goes down, SWOOSH.
With your unconvincing straight attitude.
voice so high like we in uncomfortable altitude.
Just do us all a favor , and just come out already.
Change your name to gay hard Teddy, and get ready for the gayest adventure of all time.
Cuz you think wearing bagging jeans + white t-shirt is a fashion crime.
You should make a movie with bruce willis, call it GAY HaRD. Part 1 and two!
After that, you both should screw XD



LOL... Lame as fukk, but i dunno why I'm laughing so much ahah~ maybe the randomness of it all. Happy reading.

-TenchiJk-

Dear World

Dear World,

Sometimes I feel you. But yo, some times I don't. Man, I feel like I know you. But dude why you act so cold? We have equivalent exchange don't we?You give me time, and I repay you with my death right? But, why are you so cold? To me.We have an agreement don't we? You lend me time, I live my life and pay you back with interest .

Sometimes I think I know you. Sometimes I think I know what your about, and your secrets. I feel so close to the truth sometimes, but when I get near, you seem to disappear. I don't get why you give me life, but put me in limbo...Why don't you let me move? Why is it that the sands of time is falling grain by grain, but my experiences decrease. Why is it that I breath more air as time goes on, but it doesn't fulfill my lungs?

Sometimes I do know you. Cruel, evil and wicked. Looking at me with your beady little fucked up eyes , and weird how only I can see them. oh but i see you. You stare at me with your melancholy face smiling, only to scar me from behind without me knowing. Punk. Sometimes I know you well, we've dealed in the past with things I shouldn't have. Touched. Why is it that I owe you more then I've ever borrowed? Why is it that I must pay thrice of what you've lend me.

Sometimes, I want to forget you. And in sometime I hope I will.






- No idea what I wrote, but I just wrote what I felt on the spot... hrm.. maybe it means something, maybe it doesn't. I guess there is somethings in my heart I need to clear out. I guess in this little poem, the world represents my past. The things I always wanted , such as wealth, fame and etc... However, as I live my life, I guess I started to see the imbalance. How much Effort I put into the world, but to gain nothing out of it. Limbo... I wonder why I used that word... A state of unmoving. I guess I felt trapped in this world. I have my own guesses, what is your take on it :) ?


yours truly,

TenchiJK

life is so Hard.

hey, TenchiJk here.

I'm so fed up with life right now... Furious at the world. I'm tired of trying to make excuses up for why life is so hard and I'm tired of comparing my self to 3rd world countries to make myself feel more grateful. No matter what I try, I'm going to be unsatisfied with what I have, because in this society I have nothing. Perhaps compared to someone in the 3rd world I have a lot, however the reality is that I'm in a shit hole.

After getting out of the military its been the hardest time of my life. I thought , only if I leave the military, my life will become normal. Maybe, my life would be easier. I would have my old friends back, and I would resume my life as how it used to be. However, life isn't that easy... and Friends are fickle. They change like changing weather, and they sway back and forth like wheats in the field.

I found myself one day with more internet friends then real friends. I found myself one day caught up in situations that weren't even real. I found myself defending the asian race, while other asians looked down upon me and thought be ridiculous for trying. I found myself unable to crawl out of this ditch, which kept getting deeper and deeper. Neglecting it didn't make the ditch any more elevated.

No matter what I do, i keep finding myself in the same predicament... Unable to escape the grasp of this cruel life I live in. Beyond my jokes and smiles, i am so overwhelmed with grief! and agony! I cannot continue on like this, or my head will indeed explode!!!!!!!

Lord please have mercy on me. Lord I am lost ,and I am so in need. Lord I tried to live my life according to my ways, and my efforts but they all were in vain. Lord please give me your grace, so I may dwell upon your world in peace, with no worries and with abundant fruits. God, please please please have mercy on me.

you see me posting...

What up my fellow pirates of the internet sea!

MEOW-AR says the captain! Velcome aboard the "Aiko" , the frigate full of surprises, and wonders! What says ye , on an adventure to kill the mighty Kraken!? Take it's blood and sell it for ink! and use it's hide for shelter!

First ye must have strong sea legs, without it lass' your gonna be in fer a dooms day walk!

What? lol~ sorry, feeling mighty piratey as of late... Don't you wish you can just SAIL off Into the horizon!!? and hope there is an end to the world! Perhaps find a cave along the way, that has a water fall that leads you to secret chamber filled with Spanish gold! Dazzling diamonds, blood fire rubes and the awesome sapphire that shines more purple then anything else.

I wish I can pick up able bodies who will work hard to keep my ship maintained, and whom i can share my booty with( loot, not ass) . As we venture into the unknown, we might breach upon an island with mysterious properties, giving us everlasting life but in exchange need to drink blood. OHH SHITT!?? TwiLIGHT UP IN THIS BITTTCH?? Then some how with our vampire strength swim 1000 miles to usa! then suck the blood out of all the trolls! yummy troll bloods >:D ...

What am i talking about? live in NY! its SATURDAY NIGH....gayyyyyyy... take it for what its worth lol. BYE BYE !!

-Captian TenchiJk-

wheww~ long time no writee~

WASSSSA~

I'm tired of the whole "dear reader" bs... It makes it too formal or some shit. I just wanna talk, but in writing form :) . So... I wonder if anyone still reads my blog... I haven't really wrote anything for months i think.

Um... so, my life. Life has been... Man, i dunno. Foreals, life is so wierd. I can't seem to grasp whats going on in my life at the moment... its like at a stand still. Thank God i'm still young huh? I just hope i'm not 30 and still saying the same old shit I be saying now. I just wish, by the time i'm 25 I have my life is order and things are going my way... I want to FINALLY meet the Girl of my dreams in Hawaii...

OH~ maybe I should talk about that. Well i'm in a long distance, internet relationship. CRAZY. I know. I'm one of those types that need to see for myself, and get to know that person in real life to actually commit. However, this girl... I committed, without seeing her in person. She is THAT special to me. She is so kind , and sweet... like unbelievably. Funny thing is, I can TELL she is genuine...and I can tell she is a good investment.

She lives in hawaii, and I live in cali.... so this relationship is HARD. But, at the same time... its sooo chill. We talk every day, and its not even about sex ! thats the amazing part... most online relationship circles around cyber sex, but this relationship is so real. I REALLY want to know what she is doing, whats shes eating etc etc. So I decided I'm going to go see her... And before I go see her, i'm going to tell youtube the whole story... and I'm going to film my first visit. So everyone can experience my excitement,nervousness and fear.

I didn't really edit this, so bear with me on the errors. Besides all the crap in my life...i've been really up and dandy lately. In a good mood for no aparent reason~ just feeling goofy from head to toe.. you can kinda tell in my videos huh? Before I was all depressed , sad and worried... but now, i'm just carefree of my life! XD And I want to share my strange happiness with you.

Take care you guys! much love!

-TenchiJk-

Memorial Day!

Dear Readers,

As you guys all know , today is memorial day. This day to some might be just a day off, and time to chillax... But, you guys all know better. Remember how much love they had for our soldiers back in ww2, and vietnam? What about now? People might argue that, "well back in ww2 , they were fighting for a good cause" ..." same with vietnam"... But in fact there is no difference in the motive of the war.

However , what stands the same is the fact that these brave men and women of all ages gave their freedom and life to help defend the law Of America, whether it was just or not. I do object to this Godforsaken war, but, I don't want to take away their dignity and watch these soldier receive no credit for what they've been ordered to do.
If you object the War , blame the government, not the soldiers! I was a soldier once, and I completely understand what they are going through! Being told to do something you completely disagree upon...however, if we go against the government, there will be no longer anyone defending, the law... and if there is no law.. the civilians will be the first to feel it.

Civilians don't understand how much the military sacrifice their freedom so that Little Bob can get a snickers bar without getting blown to bits. If the Navy was to guard down for JUST an hour, half of New York, Georgia and all the east coast states could be laid in ruins. If the Air Force did not dominate the skies, we'd have bombings and machine fire a spray across the sky in your neighboring cities. Without the Marines risking their lives to go oversea doing all the dirty work, no one in the states would be safe from jealous neighbors and enemies. And of course the Coast Guard , who protect our seas from foreign and domestic enemies... and PIRATES TOO!

So pay your respects to our military, because if you are living in the states right now... it is because of their protection!
Once again, I give thanks to my fellow brothers in arms who gave their lives for something greater, and I hope they remain in your prayers and in your heart. Happy memorials day!

-TenchiJk-



-Ban2j writes.

Amen! And while we're thanking the troops, I'd just like to send a shout out to military families as well. Memorial day is the time when we honor soldiers, esp. those who've already passed on, but often the ones left behind don't get enough praise. It's hard being a war widow/widower, and having to pick up the pieces after your spouse dies, esp. during a thankless war; or being a child who has to deal with the reality of losing their parent. So "Woot!Woot!" to my fellow Army/Navy/Marine/Air force/Coast guard/Etc. family and friends, and Happy Memorial Day!

When the truth comes out.

Dear Readers,

When the truth comes out, The puzzle fits into play, and you see the whole picture. At first, you wonder what it may be, and you ponder of its image day and night. However, when the vision focuses into a grand image of things, then you realize , ah this is why. As artistic as this may sound, i'm talking about a rather negative thing.

If you were to have an argument to no avail, then later in the peak of the battle you find out everything you need to know. Then comes the peace offering from the enemy. At first the battle was allusive and very murky. However, during the high point of the battle, You have learned all there is to know about your enemy. Then, How will you ever accept such a empty peace offering, you cannot.

-Easy terms-

There was a girl that asked a song request, and she was not answered. Took it upon herself to throw her anger at me, but in a passive aggressive way, so I don't notice. Of course I noticed, it was deliberate, unnecessary, and hurtful. I accused her of being mean, and being unkind... she denied my accusation, saying she is indeed a fan, and all she wants is my happiness. So I TESTED her, and Provoked her to get her a little bit angry... Her true nature slips out.

She tells me everything I needed to know about her. She spilled out her past anger towards me, and how she always thought I was a liar, and how she was furious at the fact I didn't sing her song. Through these type of tests, I was told by a wisdom girl I can determine who is for me and against me, and she was DEFINITELY against me. After she is was caught red handed, she dared to come back with an empty apology, which was filled with her self righteousness. Still defending herself, and denying what she has done. Case is Closed. and Good Riddance.

-TenchiJk-