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My name is TenchiJK, I'm a asian/american guy who has alot of different shit to say about life. Nuff said lol

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Monday, November 26, 2012


Dear Readers, 

      Its been a while hasn't it ? it has, it has haha :). To start off I've been quite well~ Been busy joining society again.  Life in reality is quite harder then just an online one lol. Throughout the years , somehow I got stuck into the world of the internet - DUH~ so has everyone right? lol 

      But its true ain't it... We're all stuck behind this internet prison. Its almost like we traded in the real thing for a digital one, and we only SEEM content. I think all the stress we feel in life comes from everything being fake... Our inner soul can sense it;our inner being is screaming , give me the real thing!

      I guess we can argue what is the real thing lol, but lets leave that for a later date. Too much fighting going on as it is . Especially that nonsense going on over there in the middle east...Eerie times y'all, eerie times. 

      I've been pretty happy lately - but still an underlying sorrow lurks about. It reminds me of that one movie,  A beautiful mind with Russell Crowe. Or was it The beautiful mind? hahaha nah I think the first one. You know that scene where he finally (spoiler) - I mean dayum, if you haven't seen it already, just stop. Just stop. lol.. nah ~ anyway, in the movie Russell finally decides to ignore his imaginary friends... But they are always walking along side of him. Prettty creepy if you ask me. But my POINT WAS, my sorrow is like such haha.. took forever to explain this concept. 

    When I live my life I see the potential sorrows around me... well you know what , forget that .. lets talk about real sorrows. 

 Do you know who I feel the most sorry for? All of us. 

   Everyones joy is sucked out of them. All depressed, angry , frustrated, timid, and most of all no aspirations or dreams. Its like everyone just secretly gave up. Even those who are striving to become something don't really know why they are doing it... and when they achieve what they set out to achieve there is no satisfaction~ All vanity. 

  I take it from a wise king by the name of Solomon. He had everything... Women, wealth, treasures beyond anyones dreams, kingdoms, servants-  I mean dayuuum, this dude had EVERYTHING. But he 
says, all is vanity . 

  He says its vanity because it truly is. Lets think of this on a smaller scale ,cause we ain't that rich homie.

Since everyone wants to be rich lets talk about that . 

-people think once they become rich they will be happy ... We all know this isn't true... But yet , we always set up this illusion - " Those rich people don't even know how to USE the money , thats why they are sad or unsatisfied" 

When they first become rich , they will probably buy everything they have ever dreamed about... 

First a car- 

heres the thing about cars. If you buy a really GOOD car... lets say a ferrari... You can't just DRIVE it around locally - you're gonna look like a dick , seriously lol. 
You will end up going to fancier places- probably picking up hot women who have NO interest in you except your money - meet friends and family who ALL of sudden want a piece of you... 

What about lawyers scheming day and night - trying to rob you blind.

A biggg mansion with servants who talk trash about you.  Cold, echoey , demon filled rooms... I mean common , these huge houses were FILLED with orgies and satanic rituals~ Don't be so naivvvee~ haha. 

Think about it, these were billionaires who owned these... and all they ever do is CARNAL things... they are no different from the romans. They are searching for pleasure, the best kinds.. 

For the common folk, pleasure can be found in sex, street drugs and alcohol. But these rich folks do strangeeeee things... Some dab into magic, the DARK arts if you will- because frankly , the world of the normal is boring for them. So they touch up on ancient rituals, strange drugs from across the globe... And illegal women/ slaves etc etc. 

Even if you don't go as extreme as this... the little things you do as a rich person is SO much more carnal then the common folk... They are able, we are unable... So their soul is drained from them.. They let their flesh rule their lives... and being ruled by the flesh is tiresome, and it leads clearly to darkness.

All the choices from the flesh are ultimately for pleasure. But what pleasure brings is death. 

Drugs are the same way . Alcohol - no different- just takes longer. 

My point is, All in vanity . 

Our goal in life isn't to be indulging in pleasures. But surrendering your flesh to the king of kings.  

You might not like it, but there is a creator our there. And the creator , CREATED us for a REASON. 

This reason is for us to worship him, and love him. 

People have this concept of worship so wrong... They always compare it to idol worship. Bowing down to an object day after day ... SACRIFICING yourself the pleasures of life, and doing things you don't want to do etc etc...

Just like a sword is made for killing, and a water bottle is perfectly suited to drink water from... we as human beings were created to worship God. Which means we feel the MOST fulfilled when we do what our NATURE intends us to do -Which is to Worship and Love God. 

but the problem always comes with Sin. 

Sin is a virus. Sin is a curse. Sin is the sticky glue that bonds the flesh together with your soul... Holding you back... like a huge burden. A boulder on your shoulder... 

With sin we cannot worship God. Because worship needs to be perfect, pure, and holy. 

A man or women with a single ounce of Sin ruins this worship. 

think of yeast for a second.  God speaks about this quite often... Explaining YEAST as the symbol for sin. 

When you add yeast to grape juice what happens? It ferments and turns it into wine. It only takes a LITTLE yeast to turn an innocent grape juice into Alcohol. This is the same with us and sin. 

it only take a little bit of sin to turn our WHOLE body into something corrupt, and unworthy to give worship to God. Thus the vanity in all that we do. There is no satisfaction because we strive for the worldly things that can give us temporary pleasure, but never fulfillment. Like being able to EAT forever , but never getting full. 

This is why God took ALL mankind, and placed their sins onto the Cross... Which Jesus was the representative of. He represented us. 

Since no man could come CLOSE to what God required of us... God needed to send HIMSELF , As Jesus, to do the things we could not do. And after he has done all that was required, he willingly placed himself on that cross as a Sacrifice ... To do away with all our sins.. our curse, our burden, our doing. 

And All he asked of us was to believe on him. To believe that HE was indeed the one  that came and SAVED us all. 

Satan is your enemy, Not God. 

Satan is ALWAYS on your side, saying the things YOU want to hear. But trusting in your own mind will get you EXACTLY where Satan wants you to go. 

So stop following millions to the giant gate, where people are having fun, drinking, partying, sexing, drugging etc etc... 

- walk the narrow path. This path is narrow, but filled with beautiful people, blue skies, and perfect living water.

There is hope here! There is love here! There is eternal life here in Jesus Christ . 

I know there are thousands who are on the FENCE... Undecided... Is Jesus right for me? etc etc.. 

Yes He is right for everyone.  He is our righteousness . He is our wonka golden ticket. 

So accept him. You don't need to change ANYTHING. Because Just like how you couldn't keep God's laws, you cannot walk his walk... Nope... 

You just simply believe... and JESUS does the change in your life. And its VERY clear, it is Him. 

Come join the brothers and sisters in Christ , and be free of vanity , and live life giving thanks to the creator, the God of our lives, Jesus. 

Throw away your idols, and throw away your own experiences and mind.. because, no matter how great your thoughts may be, if they are different from God's then it is against him. 

Monday, August 27, 2012


Dear Readers,

    yessss~ God allowed me to find a beautiful place to stay. Cheap, and cozy , and just epic sauce. AHH~ I'm so excited to move into my new place. New tables, and new beds~ and simply put a NEW life for God.
    Recently i've been struggling with a lot of stresses, but then I learned so many things along the way. I've learnt that Repentance means to change your mind. It does not mean to grovel, or beg, or to ask for forgiveness or to make a promise to God you cannot keep. But rather, changing that stubborn mind of mine.
    When I feel worried, I repent, and say I am not worried because Christ is my guide. If he guides me what is there to be worried about? Thats the truth, and I'ma stick with that. I noticed time after time, during hard situations, When I put my trust in Christ things worked out smoother then ice... But when I try to do it on my own accord.. it always , always coils up.
      I'm so excited to start filming freely in my new place~ it has a nice window for natural light, and a large wall to put up all my paints~ Its such a blessing indeed. I can't wait!! ^___^

Friday, August 24, 2012

I miss you guys :/


Tenchi Jk here ^_^ .

Man.. life is so hectic these days. I've been cleaning the house , preparing to move out of this apartment to a brand new one! Woot! A new start , and fresh new start! New places to shoot my webcam yay~

Anyway :) .

Sometimes life can be so interesting. I see God working in my life , answering my every prayer, regardless of MY actions. Its so breathtaking to know God blesses my life, and treats me so wonderfully because of what Christ has done on that cross.

Don't get me wrong, I have dark days, and sad days... and days filled with worries and doubts. But those seeds don't grow roots into my heart... A farmer comes very quickly and pulls the weeds out of my life. And immediately I am faced with the sun again... the warm and good light.

Sin is a seed.

It enters our heart just like a seed. An idea. And that idea dies ,  just like how the seed dies... and it multiples, divides, and becomes a solid root inside our minds and heart. Then the Action is committed.

That is the same with Righteousness.

Jesus Being our seed. Our source of faith , grace and mercy. That idea of righteousness sparks by the holy spirit... who gives us all A thought.  The word .  Then that word multiples, and divides into many verses, and oceans of beautiful scriptures from God.

note: How wonderful is it, to look at symbols, lines and curves and to be able to speak it. Its truly amazing... This is a gift, not from Mr. Evolution.

C A T. How does that look like the animal at all? But yet, we all know its a meow meow. And how our words can create visuals... and stories, and poems... its so beautiful.


When I have a hard time... many thoughts come into my mind. Some times it brings doubt. Some times it brings sadness, and worries. And sometimes it brings anger and fear. But during those times, there is always a counter thought.

"I am so sad today" Says the Flesh.
"You are always joyful in the Lord, and he has already blessed you." Says the holy spirit.

Do I choose A or B...

some days I choose A out of weakness. And My life goes on with that first choice... a Sad day.
But when I grab the faith the lord gave me and say , I am joyful for the Lord is Joy and I am connected with the Lord. Then my day is manifested by the words that I spoke out of faith. A Good day.

So when you live your life, Say verbally what the LORD said. Not what YOU say.

When you are weak, don't say you are weak. Say you are strong, for the Lord gives strength to the weak!

Have faith in your life.

All you christian brothers and sisters reading this, be in good spirits! Be strong in God! Fight the good fight! If we die for Jesus so be it! It would be an honor to die for Christ .

I know the world is so cruel sometimes. I know it can bring you down. I know you feel abandoned and lost.

But God has always been in love with every last one of you. Loves you so dearly. He carefully orchestrated your lives... like the fake movies people watch instead of their own movie.

The Cinema that the Lord had directed from the very start.

Starts at your birth.. the star is born. Then conflict, and situations to build character. Life was written and finished and published by our Lord. Enjoy it~ Don't let these media mongers steal what you have from God. Its your freedom, and righteousness.

God has given every one of his children gifts and blessings. Do NOT bury it in the ground!

Do not let other grumpy people tell you that cannot do it.

Yes, yes... you can accomplish all things in Christ! So start with changing what you say. Confess with your mouth, God is king. God is my shepherd I shall not want. Tell yourself, God has redeemed by through Jesus Christ. Say you are Kings and queens In God's kingdom. Say you are glorious and holy by the spirit of Christ. Take the position you were meant to ALWAYS have. Which is the royalty given to us by Christ the "KING".

If the Christ say we are his friends, and his bride... we are royalty through his own blood. Don't live life missing out on that position given to us to his born again children.

There is nothing impossible, or too out of reach. If God gave you the talent, and gifts in this life, use it!

Multiple those gifts , and bring about branches that fill up your WHOLE tree. Bear good fruit for the king! And let those who eat of your fruit be filled with happiness and open heartedness. So after they have tasted your sweet fruits, preach them the Lord who have blessed you.

teach them the freedom we have in christ Jesus, our God. Tell then why God loves us, and why we must love him.

Anyway~ Those who are heavy laden, put that burden on the Lord. He has already bore them on his shoulder 2000 years ago. It is your duty is to realize what Jesus has REALLY done.. and BELIEVE, and Have sabath. Be Free, be rested .

I pray all you wonderful people well in the world. And I love you all. Take care!!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Been a while :)

Hello dear Fans and subscribers!

    wow... its truly been a long time since i've written here. I hardly don't know what to say lol. Well how about knowing my life a little bit? I'm sure some of you guys are very curious? Maybe ? maybe Not?

    Well to be honest you guys, I was always pretty alone all my life. I've had many friends, but I always felt outcasted and hated by them all. They never told me I would be successful, or even compliment me in anything . I remember my life was about serving others... the cooler kids.

   I always felt like a guy stuck in the middle really. Not cool enough to be a jock or be the popular kid in School... but not really a nerd ethier... I had some skills and swag I guess lol. but it was never enough to bring me to where I always wanted to be.

   So as a child I used to lie a lot. To make myself more better then I really am.  I even faked my age, and did so many stupid things just to have people recognize me. I always felt so invisible. It was like... They loved me for my "talents"... but never for me.

   I was always the funny one in the group... had the best jokes, had the best stories and at times I would rile up the group into laughing frenzies... but after that , i was nothing. I was just some guy in the background.

  I remember I never used to get phone calls or text messages from any of my "friends"... but I was content really... but there was still a void in my heart.

  every friend I was being REALLY close with , some how moves away , or something along those lines. It used to pain my soul a lot.

  I was raised in a religious family , but honestly.. I did it for the show. I cried to the lord so many times in my life... but It was merely for what I wanted, not because I really wanted to find the Lord. I was so naive at the time :).

  I had a pretty privileged life style compared to most... but the sad reality was, I was not that well off COMPARED to  the people living in my neighborhood. At the time I felt so degraded... the poor kid in the group...

  when in fact .. my room had... so many things. A queen sized bed, a nice desk with the top of line computer , an awesome sharper image cd sound system... a walk in closet with TONS and TONS of clothes... just so on...

  But I felt like i had NOTHING. Tsk... what a life I lived.. sigh.

But as I grew older, life became harder and harder for me. I was starting to taste what true hardship is about... running from bill collectors after bill collectors. it was scary times indeed... but I'm amazed I passed it all hahaha... life is a breeze sometimes.

Anyway... I was getting older, and I needed to do something with my life... and I felt the Airforce was a quick and easy fix.

Boy was I wrong.

But I'm grateful for the experience. It was... haha , something else.

It taught me humility. It taught me , I'm not the top cat in the world. it taught me, Life is truly hard, and you need to fight for it.

But sadly , while I was in the military , life was just too hard for me... I lost many friends, through deaths... and just life was really difficult.

I even wanted to die at those moments of my life. I was selfish to think if I died, all things would be good... forgetting how painful my parents would have been... How selfish I was...

finally, I got out of the military...

I started to search for God in my heart.

i started to see the corruption in this world. The sadness that is clearly seen all over the world. The inner void that everyone has. The depression everyone tries to conquer but fails. They try to trust each other, but continuously get heart broken. Over and over and over again.

I started to open my heart to the world through youtube . At first... I just wanted to see if people really thought I was  good singer or not lol. My friends never appreciated me... and my singing... so i never had proof , if I could actually sing...

And at first , all the compliments helped me . I was sooo excited and happy to see people love my voice!! It was so refreshing !

but then, pride comes inside my heart... and it wasn't good for me. What was meant to be a good thing, became a poison in my soul. And I started to drift away from God...

I truly forgot why God gave me my voice in the first place. it was to PRAISE him. It was to sing for HIM. not for myself, or for others, but for HIM.

But before all this realization , I needed to go through some DARK DARK DARK times.

I don't wanna mention it here... but trust me, it was dark enough to change any man.

And I was awaken by my father in heaven.

He allowed me to come back to him, in his beautiful, warm bosoms.

He did not condemn me, or judge me... he accepted me exactly the way I was.

dirty and all....

Now, before I had no true friend... but I believe Jesus was showing me... in this world, there is no friend greater then HE. And he was right...

Jesus' friendship, and his love saved me... so saved me in my life.

In my heart there is such light and joy , its hard to explain...

My soul just rejoice in the name JESUS... if I say the word Jesus, My eyes tear up with such joy ...

So yea... my life has had many ups and downs.. just like you fellow people out there.

I know how difficult life is for you guys out there.

I know how alone times can get , and I know how it may feel as though you cannot trust anyone...

But there is definitely someone who you can trust , and that is Jesus Christ .

Man... now... I love my parents more then anything.

I respect my father whom I used to despise...

My father is what a christian man should be... He holds onto the promises of God , no matter what people say. He holds it tight like all the prophets and men of God in the past . I admire that truly...

And my mother , she is a lovely woman. So loving and kind, and so honorable to her husband. She treats him like her king. and He treats her like his queen... It is a wonderful thing to see, such beautiful love and connection from God.

They pray together everyday , and have fellowship on the word of God... and they walk to the park and read each other the bible... and they sing praises while my mother plays the guitar.

I just hope one day God blesses me with such a wife...

I know I wrote a lot, but I just wanted to share a bit of my life. I know its kinda embarrassing...

But you know what ? Everyones life has errors and embarrassments...

There are so many things we all wish we didn't say , or do... but we have.. and its done.

But, don't let that get you down. That is what life is. God gifted us these mistakes and errors so that we may GROW from them.

Just like GOLD , needs to be tested in Fire... He also does that in our lives. He constantly tests us, and puts us into fire like situations... making us more pure and pure in him.

And one day , God will make us into Gold... everlasting in his heavenly Kingdom.

So don't let the world get you down... its their final resort to get us down.

We are created in God's image... and satan cannot do ANYTHING ,only but to ruin God's image... therefore all the drugs, and depressions, and hate...

it changed the IMAGE of man...

Look at a man with JOY in his face... he faces through the sky looking at the Heavenly throne of God... God gives us his joy because he is faithful, and so giving.

But satan brings us into trials and tribulation... and the first thing to go is your eyes. The innocence of the eyes disappear.. Then your smile... and the bags under your eyes.. then the hollowed cheek bones... corrupted skin and grayish complexion.

But , trust me gentle folk... turn to the WORD of God... and watch your face GLOW like Moses who saw the burning bush in the mount.

When Moses stood before the word of God... his face just started to glow...

Likewise, when we stand before God's bible... we cannot help but to shine!

So loving folks, I thank you so much for all the support you've all given me. truly, I cannot thank you guys enough...

You guys helped me through some of the most HARDEST times of my life... Your sweet words and comments seriously boost my day, and I want to become a wonderful person In Christ because of you folks.

I just want you all to know how much I cherish all of you , and I wish I could repay the kindness to you all one day . Whether it be through good works, or by the words I may feed you with.

But All I know is , you guys mean so much to me. And I just pray that you are all safe, and be blessed in your life.

If you hanging low, sit up and smile! You have people that love you and care for you.

If not, remember, GOD , the creator of ALL life and matter and ALL things... CREATED you , DNA by DNA... touching every fiber of your being.

He crafted you individually, SOO perfectly and so precisely , and wanted you all to live a WONDERFUL life in this world, until you all go to his PERFECT kingdom.

So do not squander the gifts and love that God has given you. EVERYONE has a gift from GOD! EVERYONE... you need to just look hard! and pray to GOD, and ASK him what is my gift oh lord!?

And he will show you...

ultimately , our gift is to PLEASE the Lord.. and to PRAISE him, and to WORSHIP him.

Whether it be through your music, through your art, through your act of kindness... or simply PRAYING to him.

How lovely is it, when the creation kneels before someone they cannot even see... but they BELIEVE him from his WORDS. God didn't even have to PROVE himself, but these humans humbly bow down to this GOD, This beautiful JESUS. And says... Lord, I am in need of this... etc.

God would be so happy to hear the cries, the tears, and the prayers of mankind.. So don't delay.

get saved, have faith in Christ ... and start worshipping the Lord with me.

Time is running out!

Can you not smell death coming? I surely can... I'm sure you can to.

Anyway... Loving folks.

I love you all so dearly , and just want wonderful things in your life! Take care and I wish you the best!!!



Wednesday, June 6, 2012

hey hey hey~ Im bad with titles lol

Dear Readers,

     I hope all is well? I've been discovering a lot of fascinating things lately, and a lot of the mysterious are now unlocked in my mind. I so wish I could share it with the world... I really do, but I am truly conflicted by the dangers it might present. The information, I believe, is so sensitive, it could bring death to me. Perhaps one day, if not too late.
     All I can say is that this world is so much more fascinating then I once thought. So many mysteries that used to once boggle my mind are now clear as day , and It couldn't be more bone chillingly frightening, but yet equally amazing. The more I learn, the more I research, and the more I LISTEN, I am convinced of God. He is most definitely Real.

     It is unfortunate however... How quickly this feeling goes away sometimes. That is the nature of man I suppose. I take my example from the Jews ,who , by the grace of God , escaped Egypt unto the promise land. But continuously doubted his faithfulness, and even his existence.

     God showed them countless wonders. He sent ten outrageous plagues that devoured the whole land of Egypt. Made the rivers run red with blood... the sky was blocked off.... hails came from the heavens, mixing with fire. SPLIT THE RED SEA ! IN  HA         LF!!!

  I mean, dayum... That must have been a sight... I always wondered to myself . " Why the hell did the Jews not trust in God then?!"  "I would have! Hmmp!" ^_^ V

    Then I realized, we do the same exact things. God works wonders in our lives every single day. We can witness his miracle every which way we look... but we choose to ignore it. I honestly have a sneaky suspicion that T.V/Internet/Media brainwashes us into forgetting the grace and mercy we EARN everyday. I believe the media has the technology to implant their own ideals and their horrible doctrines. It teaches us how to dress, it teaches us what our moral standards should be, and it teaches us what to BELIEVE.

             If you do not conform, you become an outcast.

    Just like when the Jews left Egypt, one could not return back. Once you become Christian you cannot go back to the world. And rightfully so.

   Anyway, back to Moses and them Jews. lol...btw... We should honestly pray for the Jews. It is when they come back unto God, that us gentiles rise up unto revival. That is something to look forward to I'm sure.


   Yesterday , I was miserable with my life. Particularly grouchy, and ungrateful. My prayers felt forced and sour... and it sounded like a broken record. I went to school... sat down , and listened to my worldly teachers preach to us their religious beliefs. That is what it is ,really...
    I've noticed, their usage of the pyramid in every teaching. Whether it be psychology , or in design.

I can see through their bull sandwich.

   I felt unusually dark, and weary that day. Normally , I would just fall into that darkness, and let it take me deeper into the abyss of sorrow and grief. Fortunately for me, God trained me over the years... Strange to say, but I've experienced his handy work in my life. He taught me about true repentance, salvation and most of all patience. Although I admit, patience is a virtue I have not mastered. CLiche , hooahh! Commic relief.
   That didn't stop me from feeling ungrateful that day however. I am reminded of my flesh , constantly. The Memoirs of a Christian haha. 

  Anyway, I needed a ride back from school. The bus , which I take now and again, takes me about 2 1/2 hours to get home. It's honestly a ridiculous ride back... but I don't mind for the most part. But like I said, this particular day ... Nothing seemed to go my way . I even forgot my wallet that day, so I had no money(I had to kill some people for it... nah... I pulled some favors >.^ )... One of my roommates ditched me... and shadily drove off the opposite direction as to avoid me. ( don't like him no way ahah ) He is one of those few people in my life that makes "love your enemies" realll difficult. It's things like this, that reminds me I am only flesh without the holy spirit and Christ.

   So , yea... I had about an hour to kill before the bus arrived, which I missed by 2 minutes by the way. Sigh... This is when a true prayer came to me. I merely prayed for guidance, and mostly relief from this darkness and ungratefulness. Just whining really ahha, I do that from time to time. I'm a whiner ^_^ But God listens, because it is in Jesus' name, not mine. Ahh the glory of such things.

    After I said Amen... I saw a scruffy looking man coming towards me. He was dressed in all black .Dirty. Shaky. Homeless. He came to me asking for the bus fare... I honestly ignored him at first. Then I was conflicted in my soul... "Is he not my brother? Is he not my neighbor?" More like the holy spirit speaking then my flesh. My flesh is evil continuously, only through Christ I live righteously! Amen to that .

    Long story short, I gave him the bus fare, and a Nutri-grain bar I had crushed in my pocket. He ate it like it was the tastiest thing ever! My heart stung. He hasn't eaten in days...

    I began to ask him where he was going and started to ask him about his life. He was very soft spoken ; Shaking due to crystal meth withdrawals... He looked miserable, cold, hungry, tired. He told me he walked 20 mi just to get to this location... I had tears in my eyes. God sent this man to show me my arrogance... and my ungratefulness... God works in his ways... they are so different from my ways. But let his will be done.

    I took this opportunity , and let the holy spirit work in me. I started to preach the Gospel to him... He was  ready to listen to the gospel...Like the good soil. He had no rocks, nor weeds in his field.  He tried every thing in his life and failed. People teased him, people cursed him, and he ended up the way he was. It was heart wrenching for sure... But he was surely to be Blessed.

When I asked him 'are you a sinner before God?' he started to burst into tears. He knew exactly what was inside his heart; there was no hope in himself... He knew he was just like the thief on the cross next to Christ Jesus. Equally blemished, and had no false notions of good deeds unto righteousness.

This was a great thing ... Because now, the Cross becomes RELEVANT.

 What a curse it is, to squander your life in this limited time we have on this earth on worldly things... Why miss out on Eternity? God's kingdom is coming, so repent !

    The gospel of Christ flowed inside this mans heart.. It was clearly the Good news!
I shook his hand ; his name was Daniel. I still vividly remember his beautiful face; The humble, yet unfortunate product of this evil world. I still hear the soft whisper of "thank you brother."

     Through his pains I was able to reflect upon myself... and I was truly , utterly ashamed. He glorified God for the kingdom he would now enter. Still shaking in pain...

 I had everything... And I felt like I had nothing.
     I feel we are ALL like this now. All willfully ignorant of our blessings...

I see so many people riding the bus who are permanently stuck in their wheel chairs. I always see them rotating themselves perfectly in their handicap spot. I always think to myself..."how long were they crippled for... that they've mastered it?" It Probably took a lonnnng time...They must have been so awkward at it at first . And many times after that...

It is truly a blessing to walk you guys! It is truly a blessing to eat a hot meal, on a table, inside a house, protected by strong oak and plaster. It is amazing to be able to breath without a hole in our throats or cancer in our lungs. It is truly amazing to see, and smell the wonders of this world.

thousands of flavors we get to experience... oh and must I mention the PRIVILEGE of taking a hot shower!?

But we are robbed of this common blessing. We are robbed by our own greed... our own ungratefulness. We have absolutely NO reason to feel ungrateful for what we have. We have TOO much already. TOO MUCH.

Not only did God allow such a man to be saved... he also saved my mind. He purposely let this man walk 20 mi to meet me, at this particular location, and that particular time. In a sense, it was that mans destiny to meet a messenger of God that day of his life.

I felt so purposeful. What more can I ask in this life, but to offer the invitation of God's kingdom? Is there anything more fulfilling? I never thought I would say this, but wow... no, there is nothing more satisfying to see a person Repent truly towards God, and accept his love... and his IMMEDIATE Change. It's so breathtaking, tears are about to roll down my eyes as I type. Oh i'm getting too soft ahaha ^_T

What can we strive for that is not already tainted? Music? Are we not ALL musicians now? Where is the passion? Film? Are we not ALL film makers? Where is the passion and purpose?

What use is design? When all it does is manipulate the viewers into buying their product.

Is our lives truly meant to be happy at the sakes of billions who have to suffer ? Yes they do. Because this happiness we humans try to obtain is not true happiness ordained by God. It is merely an illusion the wizard of OZ concocted for us.

True happiness comes from Righteousness in Christ and the hopes of his coming Kingdom. Now that, is true happiness.

So, lets not turn a blind eye and help those we can. And strive to be like Christ.

We will fall over and over again. But the key is to get back up, not with your own strength but the strength of Jesus Christ. He gives us his strength freely , if it is according to HIS will. He will always put whats GOOD for you as a priority. So if your not getting your prayers answered, you're not really listening to God's will for you. So be patient and listen carefully.

Remember christian brothers and sisters, we have died with Christ on that cross. Our old selves are no more... we are born again in the spirit with Christ unto righteousness. LIVE that life.

Do NOT be fooled by Satan into thinking we are still trapped in sin. We were LIBERATED more then 2000 years ago!!! The debt was paid for, and it was FINISHED.

Do not dig into that bank account for sin no longer, because it is filled with the interests of Christ.

When he Comes back... and come back he will. Do you not want to stand proudly? I do.

So , I encourage all my fellow brethren to stand tall,to be vigilant, to be happy always, and to always be grateful for all that you have.

I give thanks to our father in Heaven for everything... give thanks for food, and for life and for love.

So love him! As he loves you!

I love God truly. He is nothing but amazing to me.

Let all worship him in harmony and grace, and lets love each other likewise.

Much love, and take care.


Saturday, March 17, 2012


Dear my lovely readers,

What up ^_^. So recently I've turned into a vegi-eater. I was chillin one day eating a turkey sandwich... and started to mess around with the meat... not- all out messing with my food, but just reorganizing it? ahha like, more meat to the LEFFFTT~~ cuz my sandwich was all lopsided and shiz.

Anyway-Then I started to notice I was eating flesh... of another animal. I was like... hm... this is pretty fucking nasty if you really think about it. Someone KILLED this poor animal, drained its blood... sliced its SKIN, into tiny paper thin sizes... then PACKED them into a plastic container with all sorts of fucking chemicals, so that we can eat it on some bread. Dude... nasty ...

I love a good steak... chicken too... But man, we really need to see where this is coming from. Did you know they put cows forked onto a forklift, ripping their backs, and then placed onto a conveyor belt with them lifted up on those forklifts. I dunno how to explain this... but just imagine someone one, placed the WHOLE 12 feet or so , spikes, TWO of them, into your motherfuckin BACK! THEN, lifted up with all the other cows, mooing and bellowing in pain... just to take you to the killing zone, where they put some painkilling bullshit into your head... then they STICK A KNIFE THROUGH YO NECK! Oh my FUKKKIN GoD!! why do we doo this???

Ahem.. calming down. Do NOT get me into what we do to chickens ... We really need to stop eating meat. That shit is cancerous for us. If we eat a healthy vegi diet like we were meant to from the very beginning, we wouldn't be riled with diseases and all the complications we face today.

Just when I was starting to get into being a vegi-head, I started to feel weakness again... I wanted to eat some chicken. But I was led to read a passage in the Book of Daniel. And He was also forced to eat of the Kings meat... like all the other boys. But he refused to defile his body with MEAT. Not just cuz it was the "king's" meat... He didn't want to defile his temple with dead flesh. He told the eunuchs , to test out his countenance over his fellow man... Basically said, Look at my face after 10 days. Ima eat fruits and vegis and beans... and I'll look healthier then all those other cats, who be eating fish and beef tacos. SOO....it came to pass, that Daniel, in 10 days looked sharper, cleaner, healthier, and glowed... That my friends is the truth. 10 days, eat fruits , vegis, and beans...10 days, you will feel healthier and shine. Promise!

Vegetables are things you can eat HOW EVER MUCH YOU WANT. The more you eat of it, the more healthy you become. Man I wish I believed this earlier in my life. But I also believe I needed to experience the bullshit first to fully go over to the light side. -Side note- Did you ever look at a carrot diced? Doesn't it look just like an eye? ( () ) Carrots are good for your eyes.
Did you ever notice how a Walnut looks like our brains? Guess what! Walnuts are amazing for your brain! Have you ever seen a tomato cut in half!? Guess what it has the same vessels as our hearts... and guessss what? ITS GOOD FOR THE HEART! I'm telling you, God the creator placed clues in the fruits he created so we may know what to eat for what! Amazing my friends... Yet what does meat look like? It's DEAD. Meat = DEAD. Your eating DEATH.

God placed us on this planet as stewards to tend to his creation. We are also his creation. We were given dominion over these animals, so we can rule them, and protect them. Yet, we force our fellow creations into bondage. We are no different then Hitler. He killed millions of people... but we kill BILLIONS of Animals... EVERY SINGLE DAY. More like millions, but still... TONS!

All I'm saying is, we are doing WRONG. We were taught by the Gov saying we GOTS TO EAT MEAT. No we motherfkin DON't! We reallllly don't need to eat meat at ALL.

Anyone who is reading, I want you to do something. Look up a normal cow. Research the Cow. Learn about it's life. Seriously, its what we eat the most... Ask yourself why does this cow, need to die for us to eat? Why especially this cow? Why not a dog who does really nothing for us beside be our companion, why not a dolphin over tuna? Why do we place more value on one animal and not the other... we are being hella bitchy right there.

Imagine a Kindergarten class... Some kids can paint, some kids can sing , some kids look prettier or cuter... but don't mean you kill and eat the ugly ones! DAYUMMM... its like, Yo lets eat timmy cuh he retarded. Yo lets fry jennifers legs cuz she slow and useless...

SAMMME shit. Consider switching to eating of the earth, not of the flesh people. I wish you luck into this journey, and I wish you great health and longevity. You WILL have longevity if you switch, God has blessed you already :).

much love


Friday, March 2, 2012

gotta start living

Dear Readers,

Do you guys feel you are not feeling things as you should? Honestly, when I look at nature ,it does astonish me, but often times I take so much for granted. If a person was to never see sunlight again in prison, and one day got to be in the scorching sunlight, would they complain of its heat?

No,I bet they would bask in the sun until they blistered ten times over

The beauty of insects... yea this one seems hard to imagine, but I figure if your life was about to end right before your eyes and you had a chance to live, even bugs would be an eye sore would it not? The very insects you abhorred and despised might look wondrous and marvelous if we were robbed of them forever.

What I'm trying to say is , we should really live life. God gave us life in this world to live , and eat of his fruits , and bask in his sun shine, and to see and learn the glorious works of his design/Love. Yet we squander our good fortune on the sufferings of our greed. I want to live life. I want to see what else God has prepared for us, and I want to experience the lessons and beauty awaiting every corner of every alleyway and street. I want to sing to my fullest potential till my throat bleeds and I want to run till my lungs can't hold.

What would a convict give to live one more day ? or a week? What would he do if he had his wish? He would eat his childhood foods, He might apologize to his enemies and perhaps hug every one he did wrong. He might confess his love to his unspoken love. He might watch the sunrise and sunset and just hope he could see one again.

We have many sunrises and sunsets... lets not waste them. I wasted plenty of them. I refuse to waste anymore beautiful days to come... i want to feel what God has made. I want to breath his air, and feel the breeze he made, and I want to hear the sounds He created... and I want to LIVE.


Thursday, February 23, 2012

Strange and Glorious day

Dear readers,

Oh man... today was pretty amazing ahah. Well to begin I need to kinda back track and tell you guys what I've been thinking of and what I've been feeling. Ever since I've quit smoking herb, my mind has come back to me... and although it took me a while to fully be in my essence, I'm currently walking in God.

I usually go on little bike rides around my neighborhood. When I was back at home, I'd preach the gospel more then not. But recently, I started to get isolated in this world and my mouth was shut. I was afraid to preach the word, thinking if they see my life the way it is, that will only harm God's reputation. So whenever I would ride my bike , my heart would feel so condemned for not opening my mouth to passer-bys who were old,wrinkly and near death.

I would always think in my heart, how lovely it would be to be able to go to them and tell them the good news of Christ. Yet , my mouth was shut... and I went through a hard spiritual life. Long story short, I started to walk in God, and fully repented and did a turn around. My life is light. My happiness spreads to others like wild fire, and I'm over joyed.

So at school today , I had an amazing experience. After school, I was waiting for a friend to give me a ride, but she was late. So I went behind the school, passed the metal gates , which led me to a jogging/hiking path. I happened to pass an old Caucasian man walking with his equally old dog. Immediately in my heart I felt as though I should preach to this man... or rather just give him the gospel. Yet my body was frozen... I saw him chilling with his dog by the river near by , and I was so hesitant. However at that moment instead of walking away like I would have before, I stood my ground and prayed to my heavenly Father. I asked him to please give me strength that I may preach his lovely words to him. I was scared but I took that first step and walked down to him.

When I walked down, it was super awkward... He was smoking, and his dog was swimming in the river... quite adorable actually ^_^. Anyway, I had my ukulele and just started playing some tunes. This man seemed to walk further and further away from me and avoided eye contact. I felt as though I would just sit here and he would leave, and that would be the end of it... But some thing moved me over there, and little chit chat started up.

I asked him about where he is from, and how old his dog was ... then eventually I asked him what I thought about this world...Before I knew it, we were talking about politics, government, life and just the corruption of the world. Eventually I confessed I was a born again christian.

And to my surprise, so was he. haha! His gospel was solid! He knew God and walked with Christ for many years~ And instead of me giving him a preaching, I sat listening to this brothers testimonies of life and I learned so much . We both shared an amazing experience ~ in the middle of nowhere to find a born again christian, and to have a heart felt testimony was surreal to me. To be born and raised in different countries, and somehow meeting in a river behind a school one day... thats just mind blowing to me. I felt as though God tested me today, and allowed the first one to be a freebie ~ The next time, I will definitely gain a soul.

I was so grateful to my father, and I will forevermore praise him in these trying times. One day when we stand before his judgement, I hope to stand before him with Christ as my only mediator and be bold as to my rewards as he promised. That was my glorious day :).


Sunday, February 19, 2012

feeling like myself

Dear Readers,

Mannn... what is uppp... Goodness, it feels like a brand new day. Like I'm myself again. Believe me, I'm scared though.What if I jumped the gun? What if I'm just having a particularly good day today? I don't know, but dayum... I literally feel hella amazing. I have the urge to want to make videos again... and I have this urge to say hello to the world again.

I've been reading comments from YouTube,twitter,Facebook etc etc... and I'm just overwhelmed at how much people still love me and care for me. Man, it just makes me want to give back all the more. I just pray I can have the time and space to do it~roomies are hella home bodied lately...maybe its cuz they are all so cold. Weather wise, its pretty freezing over here...

Anyway, I just want to let my few readers of my blog to know i'm like pretty straighhht right now. I'm so excited to be able to talk with all of you , and start a new "season" of the tenchijk show puahaha... Whatever it is.

You know, I'm always so lost when it comes to what I am doing? I mean... is it a show? a reality show? or just my internet diary? Hey , but people seem to enjoy it , and that makes me happy as can be . So for now, I'll just call it TenchiJK live . I like the sound of that~ what cha think? ahaha

anywayz, love yous, take care~


Friday, February 10, 2012


So, I've been getting in touch with my old friends again. Its been so long :/ . I realized there are many people out there who do indeed miss me, and have been wondering where I have been. For the longest time I felt as though I never mattered to people... like I was some sort of bloop on a radar screen. I was surprisingly touched at their remembrance of me.

I'm closing in on about 1 month and 10 days of sobriety. Yes the temptation is there... always barking at me. I'm in at a film school, and everyone smokes. The sad part is, you can't socialize without smoking... weed that is. However, I feel like my life is more important then just socializing. The way I see it... I've done plenty of it ... and honestly, you don't get much out of it. It is great 'during'... but after you feel like shit. You feel worthless... and friends never have much substance.

All they ever talk about is drugs, and when it was the best for them... they stay the same, and never progress in life. Don't get me wrong, I was once like that as well... and to be truthful, it was a chillaxing time. Everything was so carefree... But I feel older now, and that I need to take control over my life. Good no? ahha yes yes good good :) .

nowadays, I've been up and down. Some days I'm on clouds, appreciating my new cleaner, healthier life. Other times I am a grouch, and hate everything about my life. I feel irritated and frustrated and feel the strong urge to pick up the bong again haha... but I've been through a lot, and I don't need more of it. I think I'm ready to move on with my life. See what life has to offer me.

While I was here in school, I realized film is not what I want to do with my life. I learned a lot of it , and if I needed to , i can make a nice film... and I probably will in my spare time. But as a career? hell no. I'm switching to Graphic design in the same school~ I'm so happy with this choice... I'm sure it will have challenges as well... but I always wanted to do graphic design. I pray it all goes well :).

I've been on a journey to find myself... who I am really. This journey has taught me a lot, and it changed me as a person. But I am very happy. That's worth it :)


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

what up

suppp~ I feel like my last few posts have been a bit harsh. But meh, I do mean what I say so no point really apologizing. That is how I feel about the world currently... I don't think its going to change.

Wanna know what I dream about on the daily... I wish I had enough money to buy myself like 30+ years of food and supplies so I can live on a deserted island. Let me see... I wanna tell ya what I would do if that dream came true ahha.

Things I would need for my dream to come true.

1. seeds. Multitude of seeds... and books on how to grow plants and junk. I would probably take seeds ranging from strawberries to ahem weed... I mean shit i'll be on a island all day , what else is there to do right? Might as well grow some opium while I'm at it ahah. But most likely, most of my seeds will be vegetables, and maybe some fruit trees(it'll take fucking forever though... but I gots time..)

2.Canned foods. Hella quality canned foods... none of that shitty stuff you buy at the store. I'm talking about turkey dinners, steak dinners in a CAN. Yes, they exist, i did my research ahah. I'll take enough canned foods to last me at least 20 years... cause I need that 20 years to set up my village and learn to self cultivate by then. 20 should be good enough to master my skills.

3.Crackers. No u racists, food crackers. They last forever, and they go well with EVERYTHING.

4.Tools obviously... many knifes, kits to MAKE knives, sharpeners, axes, etc etc... saws... hrm... hammer? yea.. hammer... all that good stuff.

5.books, tons of books. How to books, and even story books... and of course my bible.. AWWW...
But yea, magazines, you know what kind >.^ ... haha so inappropriate after the bible lol.

6. Toiletries. nuff said. can u imagine without any of that fluffy goodness? shiet... This is something that i'll bring that will last me 100 years lol. soap too~ and face soap, tenchis got to clean his face at night. Oh and tooth brush, toothpaste...floss...and um...body wash? and , and... and... that pumice stone for my feet...lolol jk. no fuck it, I ain't ashamed, pumice stone. Baby feet holmes ahahha.

7. and most importantly medicine. all sorts... east and west medicine... and ton of it.

I think I'm pretty set here....ohoh! pvc pipes! Many many pvc pipes.... LOl might as well just built a house huh? ahahah, nah but this be my scenario chill fools~

Reason I want pvc pipes is cuz I think i can make a shower with it... and aqueducts and all that roman jazz.

okay... So I'm on this deserted island by myself right... I have all this equipment and gear inside a cave. Protected by , ONE SECOND.. I forgot something. I NEED fire making kits. kk... action!

Okay, cave, equipment up on that bitch, and now I'm ready. Okay, first thing I need to do is put up some defenses... don't know what kinda monsters be lurking up on my beaches... So i'll stake up the place and smear monkey blood all over it... I dunno , monkey is really irrelevant, it could have easily been a koala for all I care.

Second... I need to make myself a nice bed of some kind. I'll probably think, should I just live in the cave? But i honestly would think thats cheating, so I'd build a house eventually. I would make the bed out of 3 pvc pipes side by side, tied off with some plant rope lol, then cushion it up with some bear skins... that I happened to have , cuz I forgot to add to the list lol. Shit just magically appear on this island? ahahah...

Then... I'll wait till its morning... I'll attempt to catch some fish with the basic knowledge I have about survival. I watch alot of those shows... so i'll test what my basic skills are... if I fail, which I probably will, i'll settle for some canned foods. But most likely I'll never get good at it until I run out of food, cuz then i would REALLY have too ahaha.But ill try my best to catch it , the best of my abilitaytays.

then...I'll began construction of my lovely bamboo house...I'll start off slow, and small.. and slowly add rooms. Rooms for poo poo, rooms for my coconut tv... and rooms for my bed etc etc... it will be awesome sauce.

then... id probably be like ... shit i'm bored... that's when I make a couch out of some material I find on the beach and cushion it with some bear skin... and some plant leaves.

Then I'd probably just smoke. Sigh... That sounds like... I dunno... boring yo ahahah. (not really...the view would be EPIC...)

I need to bring some people for sure. At least a good... 3.. or 4... but they all girls. No guys in my fantasy world. lets make it 5... nah, just 3... 2? 2 is better yea... nono they might lesbo up , and leave me to dry... 3~ 3 is a solid number fasho.

NOW, we are talking. this island just became WAYYY cooler, way to go man~

I'll start a new NATION~ i'll be the patriarch with 3 maidens. I will be a ISLAND VIKING KING ahahah.

nah, i wanna just like a humble life with 3 chicks . yeaaa~

or just alone with a volley ball, call it Tae yang or some shit . Nah, 3 chicks? yea ... 3 chicks mucho better.

Okay, thats that -_-''


Monday, February 6, 2012


(kids, don't read this. Only responsible adults... alot of vulgar shitasu up in this beach)

yo... So I looked up at the sky today in my home town... Shit was cloudy and lined up like a coke line... It looked...wrong. I mean I know about "chem trails" ,but it stanked up the place.. It smelt like burning wood and chemicals...

Recently, its been getting worse here. Planes flying by on the double to spray these chemicals in the air. Many people don't know what they are, rather they just don't give a fuck. Let me explain what they are in simple terms... Its poison! ahahah... No foreals, its BASICALLY poison. It supposedly reduces fertility rates so they can depopulate us...SAY WHAT?

Honestly, I believe every word of it and MORE. Not only is it stopping fertility, I know its causing all sort of diseases in people...But there is no way to trace it, cuz know body suspect it...But if America can BOMB the shit out of our own people, they can EASILY spread toxic with an innocent label to make people sick as FUCCCK.

What chu think they are spreading up in the sky?! Minerals and vitamins? ahhaha... You think the government will spend millions of dollars spraying healthy shit in the sky so we live LONGER then we already do? ' So yea, we are spreading vitamin c , so y'all bitches don't get sick so often, you're welcome' Obama+ puppeteer.

Nahhh~ It is in their interest that we all die off... sooner the better. Think about it for a second... In this world ...well lets just say in America. How many people do you honestly think are useful in our country? I don't mean this in a moral kinda way. See through the eyes of an evil ,rich,powerful, indifferent ,elitist person. How many people , or how many percentage of Americans are actually useful in the betterment of the country? 30%? Doctors,bankers,politicians, yada yada yada... what about the rest... What about your ITT? Or costumer services rep, or your fast food operator... You THINK they are useful because YOU need them... but take YOU out of the picture. They are all their to babysit YOUR useless ass. (In the eyes of the evil bastard, I personally love you all, don't get that twisted.) THEY , let me clarify, THEY, the elitist bankers who own us by our balls, and ovaries. <-- unnecessary. But there is alot of crap I need to say.

We just consume!Consume! consume! we just eat our fat asses to sleep. We take shits after shits, we piss everywhere, we pollute everything! We waste gas, and electricity, and oil, and etc etc etc... We sit in front of our computer all day , surfing Facebook,twitter,YouTube etc etc... We are just a waste of space to these people. Sad reality...but its the motherfucking truthhh.

Have you guys seen "The Pianist" ? There is a scene where the jews were waiting for their train to arrive. Everyone is oblivious to what is actually going on. There is a funny old man that is not convinced they are going to get slaughtered... he says, nah they sending us to a labor camp~ we are much more useful to them. Then another more enlighted gentleman breaks that fantasy. "what? look at you... what can you do? look around you... that handicap guy is going to do labor? what about you? your old and weak..yada yada"
That old guy was so on point. To the eyes of the Nazis, everyone who was not of the Aryan race, or healthy , or smart , or useful to them in some way were allll useless. And even the ones that are useful, are on a longer ticking clock. There time will soon come after us.

This same thing is occurring in our lifetime. Call me crazy, but I call anyone who doesn't see this crazy. Open your fucking eyes! This isn't the life we used to live back in the 90's where everyone loved each other and the united states was the "police" of the world. We are slaves on the corporations. We are slaves of the invisible army . We are being watched, monitored, censored and just striaght up reamed sooooooo far up our asses we can't even breath straight! Yet, you all live in denial! You all live comfortably inside your wooden house with a GIANT TV and eat gourmet food... or frozen dinners that would be luxury for these starving gents in the world. We use water like its monopoly money. People around the world who CURRENTLY are indeed DYING, this VERYYYY second, would DRINK all off our BATH water and would smile for it would be a BLESSING to them. Have you EVER once thought of this? EVER?

It disgusts me when people think the world is a better place right now. We have allll this technology... but yet we can't feed the people that are bloating in their fucking stomachs. nonono, its not that we CAN'T feed them, its that we WON'T feed them. Do you know what? Because to them, they are worthless! They are nothing more then baggage. More mouths to feed, more people using up resources... And when they are done with them, we the lazy motherfuckers who don't appreciate ANYTHING are next.

You all SEE what I see, but want to turn a blind eye. Its true... its sooo convenient. Its so easy to just say, fuck them~My life's my life... This reminds me of a quote William Wallace said ahah 'aye,fight and ye may die, run, ya'll live, at least for a while.... dying in your sleep MANY years from now..."

All I'm saying is, don't get too comfortable. If your not a scientist, or a highly acclaimed person, or a person who sold their soul to the media ,or you got MAD connections... don't be so comfortable. Because , they WILL come for your ass.

They are getting rid of the ways we communicate with each other.. sopa? pffft~ there are worst things then that coming our way.

So what? Should we join hands and protest? ahahhahaha hell no~ that will only speed up the process. know why? If we attack them, THEY have the right to set up new laws to attack back.

Obama signed the approval of Marshall law... they will control us with military force?! ZEEEP. They ain't like your local piggies... they are brainwashed MORE then you can imagine. They are a brotherhood, and they WILL shoot you down ON command.

So what shall you do? Repent! make peace with your father. Make peace with yourself. Live life not in fear but the inevitable. Live knowing this world IS indeed crooked. Tell your closed ones and loved ones the truth of this world, and prepare their souls and heart for the impeding doom.

It might not happen RIGHT this instant, but believe you me... The government is WAYYYY past "doing something"... They have ALREADY done HORRIFIC things.

The only reason why you can't see it , is because they bombard you with BULLLLLSHIIIET. They bombard you with fake ass news to calm the population. By showing us KIM FUCKING KARDASHIAN . Or any of these soulless celebrities that bring a sense of fantasy into our dumb motherfucking lives.

okay...In all honesty, we have made plenty of mistakes and we should be ashamed of them. We haven't killed anyone or did anything to hurt anything ... it was never our intentions. However, by keeping our mouths shut, and turning a blind eye... we have indeed helped them easily kill the world. They commited heinous crimes. Far worse then several holocausts... yet because we cannot see it, or hear about we act as though nothing is happening. YOUR life is not the center of attention. Just because it isn't happening around you doesn't mean it ISN'T. THIS IS HAPPENING.

It is much too late to make a difference. It is FAR beyond anyone can imagine. All we can do is have your eyes open for signs of their move. We are playing chess with them and we are at check.


Sunday, February 5, 2012

mah day

So, I just woke up. Feeling tired. Hungry... shiet... I wanna eat something. You know what food I miss? Korean food.... dayum, some rice and kimchi and some seaweed paper... oh man. That simplicity in the middle of the night... I can't even ask for more. Well shiet, if you wanted to add more, i'd add some bulgogi and some red bean paste up on that biiiisch.

I dunno why , but I've been craving food T_T... Steak, chicken, porrr nah, i don't really like pork. Something about it being a pig rubs me the wrong way . I know pigs are "clean" animals, but I don't know I feel like a pig when I eat pugs. lol typo... Now i'm playing onto the stereotype koreans eat dogs. Speaking of pugs though... I wonder what they taste like. ahah horriblee! I know i know...

Just a little thought for today, will continue. Makes my brain feel refreshed writing it down on paper.. well digital paper. >.> sigh... lame


Saturday, February 4, 2012

Feeling happy again :)!!

Dear readers,

The last time I left off I explained the struggles in my life. Whew... that was a mouth full I know!

I think the greatest thing I learned was the realization of my mistakes. I want to tell you why I fell into the substances surrounding me. I promise I won't be too depressing. My goal is to show you any one can fall and get back up again.

Many of you know my history to some extent, so I won't bore you with my past. movvving along~~~

Somewhere along the lines, I started researching the "truth" of this world. I know now the only truth that really mattered was the Gospel. However, I was starting to feel isolated in my own faith. People left and right were persecuted for believing in Christ... and I once thought I had the power to overcome such obstacles and put up a good fight but never with my own will.

I got this strange idea one day. What if I was to show people the opposite of the gospel. Let me explain... :3 I believe, there are always two sides to a coin ( so cliche yea?). No, but seriously , there is an opposite to everything isn't there? Well I believe so :/ . Since people didn't want to believe in the Gospel, I thought maybe by showing them the opposite , people would have fear inside their hearts and have the will to look for the truth.

Just like if someone found out about a disease ,people would then look for the cure.

I began my research into the occult, and searched for this esoteric knowledge. At first , it was intriguing,exciting,shocking,mind blowing and just straight up freaky. The world that I knew crumbled before my eyes... I saw things I shouldn't have... they were things I couldn't unsee.
I began to realize the world that I grew up in was a lie. Just like how Neo is awoken from his fantasy life, I too awoke from the veil covering our eyes.

However, unlike the movies... The reality was much more bland, dull, and just ... I don't know, REAL. Real as it can get... Why we are the way we are... Why we are disease ridden... why people HAVE to die by the millions every day... Why we use paper money that does not exist... Why we serve the elitist who laugh at us from their ivory tower.... and a thousand more.

It was an horrible eye opening. Instead of changing the world, the world started to change me... I started to get lost into this world... digging deeper and deeper, like Alice of wonderland. Learning new truths that shattered old truths. It was frighting... meanwhile I was struggling with my faith in God.

Later on, it started to drain me of my happiness... Food never tasted good anymore(like ash)... the air that I was breathing felt like poison... and I felt as though the animals around me were screaming their agony as their world was being striped apart from them.

Every night was a battle. From every corner of my mind, evil lurked. Every dark shadow formed into symbols, and visions and just wickedness.

I wanted to drown my mind with such things... That's when it all began... The journey through hell and back...

I started to lose my friends... my confidence, my humor, my voice, my loves and dreams... everything was being striped away from me. I started to see my life through the eyes of a new being... a crooked, more numbed down being. Everything seemed simpler when I was under the influence... Everything seemed like a dream, and I felt comfortable there... But as time went on, I couldn't stop it. I was feeding a monster that would only grow bigger, and stronger.

Eventually, I fell on my knees one night. While crying, and beating my chest... I realized I made a horrible mistake before my father God. I left him because I wanted to do things my way... I didn't realize I was merely a sheep lost in the wilderness. I thought by using my own strengths, I could conquer Babylon. I thought if I used my diligence I could and will conquer every atrocity in front of me. But i was wrong! I am solely dependent on my father God.

I repented, and turned my ways from the life style I lived... and He was merciful. He lead me to cool waters... and like a good Sheppard he tended my wounds, and placed me upon wondrous meadows. I felt love again. I felt happiness again. I felt as though my life was covered in pure light, and no more darkness came upon me. I was free, as Christ set me free from all the bondage of the world.

I will not fall in that direction ever again, as it is no longer my strength that holds me, but rather our father in heaven who holds us. He guides my steps, and I am free, and I can see, and I can feel, and I can live whatever life that is in front of me.

I haven't felt this happy since I was a child playing with legos and drinking Caprisun. Now a simple bike ride down a path gives me the greatest smile I can ever wish for. Food tastes so wonderful I want to cry! My tongue tingles at the sight of food! And my sleep is so wondrous , filled with happy thoughts and adventures! I can look at myself with holy pride, and I can look at others with the same confidence I had back when I had it. I am so happy I don't know what to do with it!


Monday, January 23, 2012

Its been a while

Dear Readers,

Well, about 3 or 4 weeks ago I made a choice to change my life for the better . I kinda want to bare all in this writing, as it is much harder to do in a video. There are many things that have affected me over the years, and I have much excuse to blame for my sorrow and sadness. But I think most of it takes part in the center of my heart. Somewhere along the lines I started to feel so alienated, so alone, and just different from people. I have a hard time connecting to people, and I have a hard time relating to peoples problems. I want to say it is because I am different, special , unique or just strange... but the straight truth is, I'm just a lost boy. (not ze vampire lol)

I feel like a lost boy inside a matured body. An aching body , that seems to break down due to stress and emotional discomfort. I've never felt this bad in my life...

There are many reasons why I find it hard to post vids, or just live my own life in general... I think it is because I am stuck somewhere between reality and fiction. Online, I am treated with such grace and honor... and people seem to love me regardless of what I say , and when I say it. Yet in real life, people don't give me the time of day. I can't seem to hold onto a conversation more then ten minutes without being so awkward i choke on my own saliva. I can't stand in front of folks with a charismatic pose I once had in my life... I'm always just... weak. I guess I was always like that, but convinced myself through youtube, I wasn't. I learned it the hard way.

Now, I can pinpoint where I made my mistakes. Clearly, the first mistake was to alienate myself from the real world. I felt youtube was more then enough to get me going... I felt as long as I had my fans and subscribers I'd be living the dream and all my dreams would then set into motion. However, this was just an illusion, a dream and simply a fairytale I chose to believe in.
The fact is, people I once held so dear in my heart were not real. The more I put my heart into them, the more I was disappointed, and the more I felt alone. I realized I can't meet any of them individually, as I could never fully trust them individually. I started to realize I am more alone then I've ever been in my life.

Second mistake I made in my life was to drown my misery in simple day to day drugs. The so called harmless drugs did more harm to me then I once thought was possible. I always convinced myself that , the drugs I take, I take, because I want to just have fun and experience a new adventure. However, this was obviously a way to drown my sorrows and to forget the reality which was my burden.

It took me a long time to realize this, but I realize this now. I quit all substances, and I quit blaming myself for the errors of my mistakes. I know now that these things occurred to me, so I could know for sure this was not the path to take. If I never went towards this directions I would forevermore be tempted and be in wonder. But, I experienced the harsh reality ... and I have awoken.

I am going through very difficult roads,and turns. I feel more anxious, depressed,alone and scared then I was previously. But this isn't real. This is just an illusion. Just like how I was led to believe the pleasures that came with drugs were real, once again , these menacing substances are shooting its last cannon.(withdrawal) It is trying its best to make me fall for it again and again... but ladies and gents, I am so finished. I want to be a new creation. A brand new me.

It is a scary journey indeed, as I am alone here , in a very unfriendly place. Or perhaps it is unfriendly because I make it so in my mind... but yes, it feels dark, and alone here.

I don't know if I'll ever be the same again... but I really wish I could be someone I can make my parents proud.. and the people around me. I want to be the light that shines as I walk about, and give joy to those who I meet. I want to be free from darkness, and forevermore be in the light.

I pray all who are going through despair look not upon yourself, but our Lord who created us. We weren't meant to live in this sadness. The earth is satan's domain, and along comes sinnful ways. I pray that all who are falling into the deep crevice of their minds be freed, and rejoice with me , when we see that light once more.

Thank you all, and I hope to show you my new light. :)