About Me

My name is TenchiJK, I'm a asian/american guy who has alot of different shit to say about life. Nuff said lol

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Sunday, August 5, 2012

Been a while :)

Hello dear Fans and subscribers!

    wow... its truly been a long time since i've written here. I hardly don't know what to say lol. Well how about knowing my life a little bit? I'm sure some of you guys are very curious? Maybe ? maybe Not?

    Well to be honest you guys, I was always pretty alone all my life. I've had many friends, but I always felt outcasted and hated by them all. They never told me I would be successful, or even compliment me in anything . I remember my life was about serving others... the cooler kids.

   I always felt like a guy stuck in the middle really. Not cool enough to be a jock or be the popular kid in School... but not really a nerd ethier... I had some skills and swag I guess lol. but it was never enough to bring me to where I always wanted to be.

   So as a child I used to lie a lot. To make myself more better then I really am.  I even faked my age, and did so many stupid things just to have people recognize me. I always felt so invisible. It was like... They loved me for my "talents"... but never for me.

   I was always the funny one in the group... had the best jokes, had the best stories and at times I would rile up the group into laughing frenzies... but after that , i was nothing. I was just some guy in the background.

  I remember I never used to get phone calls or text messages from any of my "friends"... but I was content really... but there was still a void in my heart.

  every friend I was being REALLY close with , some how moves away , or something along those lines. It used to pain my soul a lot.

  I was raised in a religious family , but honestly.. I did it for the show. I cried to the lord so many times in my life... but It was merely for what I wanted, not because I really wanted to find the Lord. I was so naive at the time :).

  I had a pretty privileged life style compared to most... but the sad reality was, I was not that well off COMPARED to  the people living in my neighborhood. At the time I felt so degraded... the poor kid in the group...

  when in fact .. my room had... so many things. A queen sized bed, a nice desk with the top of line computer , an awesome sharper image cd sound system... a walk in closet with TONS and TONS of clothes... just so on...

  But I felt like i had NOTHING. Tsk... what a life I lived.. sigh.

But as I grew older, life became harder and harder for me. I was starting to taste what true hardship is about... running from bill collectors after bill collectors. it was scary times indeed... but I'm amazed I passed it all hahaha... life is a breeze sometimes.

Anyway... I was getting older, and I needed to do something with my life... and I felt the Airforce was a quick and easy fix.

Boy was I wrong.

But I'm grateful for the experience. It was... haha , something else.

It taught me humility. It taught me , I'm not the top cat in the world. it taught me, Life is truly hard, and you need to fight for it.

But sadly , while I was in the military , life was just too hard for me... I lost many friends, through deaths... and just life was really difficult.

I even wanted to die at those moments of my life. I was selfish to think if I died, all things would be good... forgetting how painful my parents would have been... How selfish I was...

finally, I got out of the military...

I started to search for God in my heart.

i started to see the corruption in this world. The sadness that is clearly seen all over the world. The inner void that everyone has. The depression everyone tries to conquer but fails. They try to trust each other, but continuously get heart broken. Over and over and over again.

I started to open my heart to the world through youtube . At first... I just wanted to see if people really thought I was  good singer or not lol. My friends never appreciated me... and my singing... so i never had proof , if I could actually sing...

And at first , all the compliments helped me . I was sooo excited and happy to see people love my voice!! It was so refreshing !

but then, pride comes inside my heart... and it wasn't good for me. What was meant to be a good thing, became a poison in my soul. And I started to drift away from God...

I truly forgot why God gave me my voice in the first place. it was to PRAISE him. It was to sing for HIM. not for myself, or for others, but for HIM.

But before all this realization , I needed to go through some DARK DARK DARK times.

I don't wanna mention it here... but trust me, it was dark enough to change any man.

And I was awaken by my father in heaven.

He allowed me to come back to him, in his beautiful, warm bosoms.

He did not condemn me, or judge me... he accepted me exactly the way I was.

dirty and all....

Now, before I had no true friend... but I believe Jesus was showing me... in this world, there is no friend greater then HE. And he was right...

Jesus' friendship, and his love saved me... so saved me in my life.

In my heart there is such light and joy , its hard to explain...

My soul just rejoice in the name JESUS... if I say the word Jesus, My eyes tear up with such joy ...

So yea... my life has had many ups and downs.. just like you fellow people out there.

I know how difficult life is for you guys out there.

I know how alone times can get , and I know how it may feel as though you cannot trust anyone...

But there is definitely someone who you can trust , and that is Jesus Christ .

Man... now... I love my parents more then anything.

I respect my father whom I used to despise...

My father is what a christian man should be... He holds onto the promises of God , no matter what people say. He holds it tight like all the prophets and men of God in the past . I admire that truly...

And my mother , she is a lovely woman. So loving and kind, and so honorable to her husband. She treats him like her king. and He treats her like his queen... It is a wonderful thing to see, such beautiful love and connection from God.

They pray together everyday , and have fellowship on the word of God... and they walk to the park and read each other the bible... and they sing praises while my mother plays the guitar.

I just hope one day God blesses me with such a wife...

I know I wrote a lot, but I just wanted to share a bit of my life. I know its kinda embarrassing...

But you know what ? Everyones life has errors and embarrassments...

There are so many things we all wish we didn't say , or do... but we have.. and its done.

But, don't let that get you down. That is what life is. God gifted us these mistakes and errors so that we may GROW from them.

Just like GOLD , needs to be tested in Fire... He also does that in our lives. He constantly tests us, and puts us into fire like situations... making us more pure and pure in him.

And one day , God will make us into Gold... everlasting in his heavenly Kingdom.

So don't let the world get you down... its their final resort to get us down.

We are created in God's image... and satan cannot do ANYTHING ,only but to ruin God's image... therefore all the drugs, and depressions, and hate...

it changed the IMAGE of man...

Look at a man with JOY in his face... he faces through the sky looking at the Heavenly throne of God... God gives us his joy because he is faithful, and so giving.

But satan brings us into trials and tribulation... and the first thing to go is your eyes. The innocence of the eyes disappear.. Then your smile... and the bags under your eyes.. then the hollowed cheek bones... corrupted skin and grayish complexion.

But , trust me gentle folk... turn to the WORD of God... and watch your face GLOW like Moses who saw the burning bush in the mount.

When Moses stood before the word of God... his face just started to glow...

Likewise, when we stand before God's bible... we cannot help but to shine!

So loving folks, I thank you so much for all the support you've all given me. truly, I cannot thank you guys enough...

You guys helped me through some of the most HARDEST times of my life... Your sweet words and comments seriously boost my day, and I want to become a wonderful person In Christ because of you folks.

I just want you all to know how much I cherish all of you , and I wish I could repay the kindness to you all one day . Whether it be through good works, or by the words I may feed you with.

But All I know is , you guys mean so much to me. And I just pray that you are all safe, and be blessed in your life.

If you hanging low, sit up and smile! You have people that love you and care for you.

If not, remember, GOD , the creator of ALL life and matter and ALL things... CREATED you , DNA by DNA... touching every fiber of your being.

He crafted you individually, SOO perfectly and so precisely , and wanted you all to live a WONDERFUL life in this world, until you all go to his PERFECT kingdom.

So do not squander the gifts and love that God has given you. EVERYONE has a gift from GOD! EVERYONE... you need to just look hard! and pray to GOD, and ASK him what is my gift oh lord!?

And he will show you...

ultimately , our gift is to PLEASE the Lord.. and to PRAISE him, and to WORSHIP him.

Whether it be through your music, through your art, through your act of kindness... or simply PRAYING to him.

How lovely is it, when the creation kneels before someone they cannot even see... but they BELIEVE him from his WORDS. God didn't even have to PROVE himself, but these humans humbly bow down to this GOD, This beautiful JESUS. And says... Lord, I am in need of this... etc.

God would be so happy to hear the cries, the tears, and the prayers of mankind.. So don't delay.

get saved, have faith in Christ ... and start worshipping the Lord with me.

Time is running out!

Can you not smell death coming? I surely can... I'm sure you can to.

Anyway... Loving folks.

I love you all so dearly , and just want wonderful things in your life! Take care and I wish you the best!!!

-tenchiJk-

-DAVID PAK-

13 comments:

  1. David, such Beautiful and Welcoming words to open up your heart to Christ :)

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  2. Wow thank you for sharing your story. Its hard to think such a warm spirit like yourself went through tough times. Your humbleness really shines here. God bless ~ <3

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  3. Oh, I wish I will get back in this state that you are talikng about.

    I want to ask if you ever felt the (almost)physical presence of the devil?

    If you are talking so beautifuly about God, you must be tortured by a dark presence. How do you cope with it?

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  4. Hi.Well where to start? I can relate to everything you've shared. I've been through a lot of rough times myself. I've written about it on my blog, and again I can't relate. I wouldn't even be here had God not been watching over me from an early age. And on top of that He sent angels to watch over me until I was rescued. But any who, you're always as open and honest as you can be with us, here or via Youtube and I appreciate that very much. It isn't everyday I get to meet or experience honesty from people. I want you to know I pray for you, really. I'm not one of those people who say they'll pray and don't. You're a constant in the forefront of my thoughts. Stay safe. Peace

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  5. I've been with you 2+ years nows
    and I have always wanted the best for you.
    I pray God be with you always.
    May we always be grateful for the things he has given to us
    Living not for this world.
    Reaching for the greater things he has in store for us
    We must press on.
    More so than your talents its you the person that I see.

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  6. I've been watching your youtube videos on and off these past two years, and I've just seen such a big change in you.

    I'm so appreciative for your willingness to be honest about your struggles and the amazing work that Christ has done in your life. Sometimes, during hard times, it's hard to see what God is doing in our lives but I am encouraged by your story of God's faithfulness in your life. :)

    God Bless and I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

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  7. Hi Tenchi. I have a random question... Do you plan on making T-shirts again?

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  8. This post just opened up my mind a little bit more, thank you so much for these uplifting words.

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  9. Hello, Oppa..i just want to ask you some question.
    for now, are you still felt lonely?
    and can you discribe what's lonely?
    are your friends know about your blog, and how their respond after read your story? changing or nothing different.
    thanks

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  10. Hi David! I watched your video on kpop and Illuminati, and i wanted to see where your perspective came from so I watched a video w/ your testimony. It was a very encouraging, and I wanted to thank you for being so transparent about your life and doing all you can to glorify God and bring more people to His kingdom. Curiosity led me to your blog, and as i scanned through some of your blog posts and the stuggles you’ve shared, it reminded me of this concept called Heart Motives that Pastor Min from CFC in University of Illinois put together for his dissertation for his Pastoral doctorate.

    I don't know about you but I love analyzing my personality and character. It really helps me understand why I do what I do. Why do I sin? What are my motives for doing anything I do? Why is my life so effed up right now? How can I change and grow in holiness?

    http://www.cfchome.org/resources/heart-motives-overview-1
    http://www.cfchome.org/sermons/4/54/67

    Listen to this first link for a summary of the concept of Heart Motives. the second link has more audio if you want to dive more into it. Basically Christians have 2 natures: Spirit Nature and Sin nature. This gives you a constant double motive, and they constantly fight each other. We want to give glory to God, but yet we want to be our own god. Heart motives consists of four types. Perfect-me, Respect-me, Love-me, Like-me. Everyone person in the world has one of these four heart motives. This is your 'major' heart motive. Like in colleges, you can have a 'major' and several 'minors'. The minors assist your major in order to get what it wants. These minor can change at any time. There is also the concept of being a failure. As in your major heart motive is not getting what it wants and so you are in the mindset of constant failure.

    Perfect me’s have a high goal that they must complete.

    Respect me’s want to have all the recognition and accolades.

    Love me’s have these “chosen people” (boy/girl friends, friends family) and they need undivided love from them

    Like me’s want to be liked by as many people as possible.

    Me? I’m a respect-me (failure) major with a (currently) love me minor. I want people to see the stuff I make and say, dang you’re good. I love compliments because it affirms their respect for me. I’m a love me minor because I am too scared of stranger’s expectations, so I limit myself to my close friends because I can more easily and set expectations to how I feel comfortable.
    One of the constant things I have to fight is how I can bring glory to God in the things that I do that involve people and not aim it to be a worship fest for myself.
    Basically it’s the question what’s the reason behind the sin? I think if we can answer this, it will really help us bring our Spirit Nature to the forefront and keep the sin nature at bay.

    I shouldn’t do this, I don’t know you, only you can answer this, but from your blog posts to me it seems like you are Love me major and a Like me minor. You haven’t found your “chosen people” yet, so you are trying to get all these people to like you so can search for them, but it’s discouraging you not being able to find them. Again, disclaimer, I shouldn’t diagnose your heart motive, and I am probably totally been wrong. But psychology is something fun to think about. So I urge you to examine yourself and find out for yourself what you really think you are.

    Another disclaimer that heart motives are obviously not written in the Bible, but this is based off of biblical principles.

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  11. Many of us can relate to what you describe.
    Comments and post are encouraging. :)
    Peace.
    PS:U should read Watchman Nee (Nee Too Sheng) there R different books (old preachings),it's good food from the spirit.

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