So, I've been getting in touch with my old friends again. Its been so long :/ . I realized there are many people out there who do indeed miss me, and have been wondering where I have been. For the longest time I felt as though I never mattered to people... like I was some sort of bloop on a radar screen. I was surprisingly touched at their remembrance of me.
I'm closing in on about 1 month and 10 days of sobriety. Yes the temptation is there... always barking at me. I'm in at a film school, and everyone smokes. The sad part is, you can't socialize without smoking... weed that is. However, I feel like my life is more important then just socializing. The way I see it... I've done plenty of it ... and honestly, you don't get much out of it. It is great 'during'... but after you feel like shit. You feel worthless... and friends never have much substance.
All they ever talk about is drugs, and when it was the best for them... they stay the same, and never progress in life. Don't get me wrong, I was once like that as well... and to be truthful, it was a chillaxing time. Everything was so carefree... But I feel older now, and that I need to take control over my life. Good no? ahha yes yes good good :) .
nowadays, I've been up and down. Some days I'm on clouds, appreciating my new cleaner, healthier life. Other times I am a grouch, and hate everything about my life. I feel irritated and frustrated and feel the strong urge to pick up the bong again haha... but I've been through a lot, and I don't need more of it. I think I'm ready to move on with my life. See what life has to offer me.
While I was here in school, I realized film is not what I want to do with my life. I learned a lot of it , and if I needed to , i can make a nice film... and I probably will in my spare time. But as a career? hell no. I'm switching to Graphic design in the same school~ I'm so happy with this choice... I'm sure it will have challenges as well... but I always wanted to do graphic design. I pray it all goes well :).
I've been on a journey to find myself... who I am really. This journey has taught me a lot, and it changed me as a person. But I am very happy. That's worth it :)