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My name is TenchiJK, I'm a asian/american guy who has alot of different shit to say about life. Nuff said lol

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Friday, March 12, 2010

Hater post.(please read)

Dear Readers,
I do not want to put this girl on blast, but I think its about time I crush this annoyance once and for all. She wrote:

ShaJenSte said...

You knw you wut imma nt gn be scared i jus come out and say it! I think your full of shit! Nw I knw im only seventeen and some times i cn do some so shallow stuff but rlly goin out with a black girl so you can "walk the walk" OMG it doesnt get any better than that does it. Jus do me a favor if she really as pretty as you say dont waste her time if you dnt really care for her and cant do better than walking the walk by going with her! Bc Im pretty sure if she as wonderful as you make her sound she deserves better than that!

By this I'm guessing she is implying , that ONE girl, whom I cannot say the name no longer. For the sake of easily naming her, lets call her, Girl A. Now this girl above commented in a irrelevant post, and I just felt the need to answer her promptly.
For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, i will give you a brief summary of what happened. Several months ago, i was with a girl named "Eri---". I went out with her for aprox. 2 months, and she played me with 5 other dudes... well, she played all of them anyways. A damn pro at that lol.
Needless to say I was devastated, I shouldn't have been, but I was heart broken. I think I fell really deep for this girl... Around 1-2 weeks later, I started to get a lot of moral support from several people on youtube,msn,skype and aim. Good old online conversations to cheer me up from my heart ache. One girl stood out amongst that group. She happened to be Girl A.
My first mistake was, I let my guard down, and I let her compliments sooth me and comfort me. I don't mean to blame her at all, but, she knew exactly what was going on in my life , since she is a subscriber of my channel. I told her i was not ready for a relationship, nor do I feel comfortable meeting new people or etc etc... She understood, and we had a casual conversation here and there. However, In my state of mind... that shit is just not possible. Needless to say she was an attractive girl, and her personality was up there in the clouds(thats a good thing by the way). She and I started to flirt more often then not, and eventually got into a "likeable" situation. The whole time , to tell the truth, I was afraid of commitment and any sort of relationship...This was where i was selfish and most definitely wrong. I didn't hurt as much from the 5 timer because I felt "comforted" by girl A.
Later on, knowing already we live only hours away, decided to meet up. For a date. I wanted to test it out. To see if this could be a casual, "seeing each other" type thing. See, my mentality is this : First you get to know them, then go on a date, THEN decide whether or not you want to "see each other", THEN get into a serious relationship.
Anyway, the First date comes along. I was nervous, and excited , and believe it or not I WAS happy. When I first saw her, I did find her very attractive and beautiful.then... The problems started to rise up...

First- The drive. It takes an hour, forty minutes. I'm thinking , " crap... this might not work out because its long distance..." but, i've been in L.Ds before , so I figured i give it a shot.

Second- I met her at a Starbucks, thinking it will just be her. Nope. She came with her entourage. Of 3 people... so here I am, at a Starbucks with 4 people, whom I never met. Mind you, i never met the girl i was meeting EITHER. Stress started to build up immensely. But... I put a smile up, and just tried to enjoy my day.

third- Eventually her friends did leave . The thing that truly got me moved, and scared at the same time was the gift she brought me. It was almost difficult to accept it, because it must have cost her over 90 dollars... Of course i was thankful, but deep inside , i was taken back a little bit. A lot actually...

I don't want to get too much into the date, however that day ended good. We both had a good time, and we discussed a lot of things. Things became really difficult after the first date however.
I started getting mail on the daily from black women saying, you better not "fuck up". That didn't really affect me that much, i get hate mail daily anyway, so I just brushed my shoulders off on that matter. However, what did started to pinch my nerves were these comments :

" You DO know shes a celeb. right? Your a punk bitch, your only using her to gain fame huh?"
" your using her ... " etc etc...
That started to drive me insane!!! I didn't want ANY of this drama! I wanted to be alone and not in pain! God, it felt no one in the world would let me breath for just a FUCKING SECOND! People left and right saying don't fuck up now~ Your using her for your own benefit ~ when are you gonna get married says her friends.
Eventually, my brain just stopped. Everything became quiet. I told her in a letter, that I cannot do this anymore. She was in love with me she said... and that I was the one she said... Those are good things to hear when your emotionally stable and happy.

But,When you don't feel the same way, or your in a miserable state, those words just become pressure beyond reasoning. It felt, her life , her heart is now in my incapable hands.

So, i knew I dragged this way too longer then I should have. If I was a smart and a kind man, i WOULD have never started anything. However, that was where I was definitely weak. These are the type of things I wish I could change, and just relive it to fix it. However, life is NEVER that kind.
I still get this way too many times... these young girls. Who want to judge me for what I have done... It's so easy to judge someone when your not in their shoes. So easy to tell someone to quit cigarettes when they themselves never tried it. Or those who self righteously say I will never cheat in my life, when in fact they don't know what will come about them in the future. So many people judge one another , mainly because they don't see the similar flaws in themselves. I am by no means justifying myself. What I have done, though very conditional, still is very wrongful done. And I Apologize to her and her alone.
The lesson, or point i wanted to make with this post was to tell others never to judge others. Never condemn another, because one point in your life you will face a similar situation, and you would understand why it had to happen that certain way. I hope this post will be the last to explain what happened IN MY life.

Thanks for reading.

-Tenchijk-

18 comments:

  1. That was ...nice of you to explain to us. I definately am not happy with the fact that:
    1) The person talking to you like your stupid is typing inappropriately.
    2) It took me a good two minutes to read her post.
    3) how judgemental people are in general.

    I agree that it's easy to judge others when not in their shoes, but we as people should learn to control that urge. If not to avoid conflict, then to at least make yourself a better person in an already sad world.

    M'kay, thanks for sharing =D Have a brilliant day, TenchiJK (Ha, I just realized that rhymes.)

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  2. Pay it no attention, kind Sir.

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  3. Ahah it does rhyme doesn't it!? ahah .Thanks for the sweet comment.

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  4. Aww, you're quite welcome my good man, hehe

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  5. The only thing i have to say about this is:Forget the haters!!What you do with your life is your business and only your business alone...Noone has the right to butt in.Seventeen year old girls don't know what life is yet.

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  6. Why the heck are you explaining? You owe us no explanation for your personal relationships Tenchi. I understand you though. Trying to tame the haters.

    It really annoys me that some people think they can run your life when they don't even know you. Me, I get so annoyed when people I know tell me what to do but to have complete strangers telling me how to live my life and chastising me is unacceptable. Tenchi you're a strong individual to put up with this nonsense.

    I would say this will die down one day but as long as you're putting your opinions out there for the world there will always be people like this. I would hope you'd look into having someone screen your messages but I know that can be aggravating.

    Stay you Tenchi

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  7. I should give you a round of applause!
    You do a good job at getting pity, you almost had me. I mean is this really a joke, if anybody on here actually read your so called "Hater Post" they would see you proved my point completely. You ended up breaking her heart bc you really weren't ready for that relationship. Have you ever heard the saying about sticks and stones. If you really cared for her it wouldn't have mattered what was said to you, you would have stuck by her side. I mean these posts came from random ppl, so just imagine if it were your family or friends. You definitely would have been done for bc you let ppl you didn't even know affect the outcome of your relationship.
    Also you said you cant judge ppl if you haven't been in their shoes, well maybe you should take your own advice. I don't know about you but I believe everything that is said or done in this world is done for a reason. With that being said there was a reason I post that comment. Yes I'm only seventeen but that does not mean I don't go threw things in my life. As a result of an interracial relationship and family, I think those types of relationships are a beautiful thing to see. But only when its pure and from the heart not to make a point!
    Just like girl A I also know a girl who was in love with a guy who was not her race. To be honest I personally never thought they would end because they had that love that was unshakeable at least I thought so anyway. But, any ways unlike you I don't want any pity so imma get str8 to the point. Bc he couldn't take all the negative aspects of the relationship like he did the positive they ended up breaking up bc even though he loved her so much other ppls opinions obviously mattered more. Nw when I look at her I feel sorry for her bc I knw in my heart she will probably never be able to love like she loved him for a long time, which is so sad bc she is so young.
    So as her close and personal friend I promised my self that i would never let that happen to anyone else and if i seen it happening i would speak my mind on it so hopefully that girls heart wouldn't be as crush as my friend heart was.
    So trust me I'm definitely not hating on you, I just (unlike most ppl) tell the truth and speak my mind without sugar coating anything. Maybe I could have said it in a better way but when I think about it I dont regret anything I said nor will I take it back How you take it is your own problem, and I personally think that it hit a soft spot for you bc you obviously felt that need to put me on "blast", which you really didnt do. All you did was put yourself on blast for what you did and just basically gave reasons for it so you could make yourself feel better

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  8. Wow Stop it girl please. Seriously. He knows his mistakes. Is his life affecting you? STOP!!! Concentrate on you. Your life. Everyone makes mistakes I'm sure you have. What gives you the right to chastise him? Do you really know who he is? What happened with him is between his ex and himself- not you!

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  9. To Ms. Tempress I have nothing towards you so imma only gone say this if it was really between his ex and himself why would he post his business all on the blog bc he has the right to just like you do and the same for me. All I did was comment my feelings on his videos and blog jus like you are doing mines and you have dne his. It just so happens we have a difference of opinions. You can get on me for doing the same thing that you do. So answer your own question how can you chastise me?

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  10. wow I'm sorry that people are soooo hateful towards you. You're such a nice person and the person that keeps commenting on this should just get a life and stop wasting her breathe on hating you it's not helping anyone it's only hurting people.

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  11. Panda love- its inevitable~ everyone got an opinion. However it is their responsibility to make that opinion respectful or not.
    I honestly don't think she said it to hurt anyone, but rather she feels really passionate about it. I think she just can't express herself with a kind demeanor.

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  12. True, she seems like a very strong minded person hopefully she'll use it to her advantage in life oh and try and be maybe just a little bit nicer but then again you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink ^_^

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  13. To Ms. ShaJenSte,
    I thought about your question and here's my answer.

    If you see that someone is truly sorry for their actions and have repented to whoever they've hurt it's none of your business to step in. If you do involve yourself anyways respect is a must when you're attacking someone over their personal decisions.

    That's not a difference of opinion you're attacking him. When I see you attacking someone, whose already hurt, I will step in. Do you feel like I'm involving myself in your conversation with Tenchi? I'm doing exactly what you're doing but in a nicer way. It's annoying, right?

    No matter where he post his business it's still between him and his ex. We're just bystanders that can comment respectfully.

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  14. This is a "blog" commenting on situations is what you do . If he didn't want to hear comments good or bad he shouldn't have a blog. And by the way you commenting on the conversation does not bother me in any way because your speaking your mind and its your own opinion. Unlike some people I don't let things like this get to me because they are what they are just opinions. But imma end it with this it is what is it. And this is my last comment on the situation not because I actually care what people say but because I've made my point and there is nothing else I have to say. Love it or hate it,its your choice. Oh yea feel free to "speak your mind" after this.lol

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  15. Tenchi, you don't have to justify yourself to no one. Show me a perfect person and I'd like to meet that person.

    I actually respect you for breaking it off. It would have been cruel and selfish to lead her on. So I think you did the right thing.

    You're absoulutely right in asking why do people kick people when they are down? Something I'll never understand.
    What you need right now is TLC. So here's a virtual hug.

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  17. i think its very imature to judge someone's point of views and the decisions they make in life . If someone don't have anything gud to say they shouldn't say it at all because no one deserves to be judged or be called a peice of shit. Its great to state an opinion or comment but at the end of the day you should think about how you say things because then people won't understand the point that your making but instead think your being ignorant:)

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  18. O.o...Wow....Who types like that? I could hardly read it! Ugh. -.-""" This is too much drama and stress. You are a human so, these emotions are understandable. I'm glad you had the sense to appreciate her feelings and cut it off. About people judging you and everything, they need to get a hobbie. You live your life the way you want. It's no one's business what goes on. People should know that it's not their right to act immature and scold you on YOUR LIFE. Stay true to yourself ok? XD Cheer up Tenchi! <3

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