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My name is TenchiJK, I'm a asian/american guy who has alot of different shit to say about life. Nuff said lol

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Thursday, March 4, 2010

The black star(minisode)chapter 1 part 6

(previously)The warrior who was holding onto his armour quickly rushed to Va'lus and handed it to him. “Change of plans, every body goes into the forest! If you want your brothers to live you will protect each other diligently! Move out !” The unwilling warriors short of morale followed Va'lus their new self acclaimed Or'mac into the Julgar Forest which held dangerous beyond the imagination of any Mondus.

“Va'lus... a word with you if I may.” Marl'ec initiated. Va'lus looked straight ahead and paid no attention to him. “Va'lus, when we enter these forests, if I am to sleep, take my life.” Marl'ec said his peace and continued to ride behind him. The day around them was quickly eaten by the shadows ,and the light began to strain to shine. As they approached the Julgar, sweat started to squeeze out of the Mondus warriors. Even the toughest of all warriors were scared of this place.
“ Pull your wits about you, what you have heard as a child has been stories to shed fear into you my brothers!” Tu'p the youngest of the warriors declared. He was the Brother to Marl'ec , and though he was the younger one , he was by far the greater warrior and much bigger in size. However, Marl'ec was ever so cunning, Tu'p has never been able to defeat him in a duel for his speed was out matched every time. “how do you know they weren't stories?” a warrior riding behind him whispered. “ I don't.” Tu'p struck his mount and carried on faster. The Trees began to form quite differently as they entered the forest. The tall green trees merged into stone, as if they were melted together to become one. The dark green leaves, seemed to glow and beneath the leaves were the glowing eyes of creatures admist. The wind was stale and old,and reeked of the deceased. The tainted ground, although hard to see were filled with Nomad Beetles scrapping across the dirt. Hundreds and thousands of the insects scourged about, clashing there shells together to make the sound of ancient drums. The Mondus eyes began to lose visibility, instead, their eyes depended now on their ears. Using sound to guide their way they rode on ,and their mounts cried out in disapproval.
A dark creature swooped by screeching , and the creatures within began to growl louder and louder as if to say get out of here. The Mondus rider defense-fully looked around and started to feel the pressure of the sleep. “Lepo'ar!!” Marl'ec shouted at his injured mount as he was flung out of it. “ brother! Where are you!” Tu'ps voice echoed deep into the julgar, and the creatures within fell into complete surrender. The Nomad beetles on the ground became silent, as did the whole forest itself. “Va'lus... be on your guard, some thing isn't right!”
“Idiot! Of course something isn't right! If you have no wise thing to say keep you mout-” Before
he had the chance to finish he was struck by some mysterious force. His struggle brought worry unto them, and his voice sounded of defeat. “help me!” va'lus' shout slowly died off as he was dragged by this mysterious creature. Many of the warriors cheered raising their spears into the sky .
“Lets get out of here!” one of the warriors said. “ wait! We must find my brother!” Tu'p exclaimed. “it is too late for Marl'ec, the Julgar has already feasted on him” He looked appalled yet no body could see his expression in the cold darkness. “ No he is alive! We must -”
“ Tu'p, this is not your – wait... where are we?” Tu'p also began to sense they had no idea where they were. The sounds of the forest was still silent, except for the sounds of mucus and teeth deep within. “look for a light ! There must be !” Using their ears and their voice they started to develop some form of vision, but failed at it. “lets keep going! We cannot go back!”
“where do we go!? We don't know where to go anymore!” a warrior exclaimed . “anywhere but here! I will lead, follow me! “ Tu'p grabbed unto the reigns of the mount and charged into the unknown. He crashed into stone-trees, and crunched upon the silent nomad beetles , but he fearlessly charged in. “brother!!! where are you!!” As he shouted , the other warriors began shouting with him. Perhaps it was out of sympathy, or perhaps it was from their fear wanting to be expressed in a much benign way. Where ever they were going, their concerns and fears caused them to forget about the strong effects of sleep in the Julgar. The julgar forest emits sleeping toxin into the air causing temporal body coma, then when the victims are caught into the heavy sleep , creatures greater then the Morlaks come out to feast upon them. Some creatures are known to be so horrendous, even the matured Morlaks themselves lay victim to their power.


  1. you're such an amazing writer ^^ my stories are child's play compared to yours ><

  2. thank you sweety, thats a very nice comment of you.

  3. you're welcome and you don't have to thank me for telling the truth you're very talented :)

  4. I can't wait for the next chapter!!

  5. That Va'lous dude ain't scared of shit. He's so stubborn he doesn't want to listen to no one but himself. Thats what caused his death.

    This part is classic when he says "Idiot! Of course something isn't right! If you have nothing wise to say keep your mou...and the creature gets him.

    It reminds me of the movie Deep Blue Sea with Samuel L. Jackson and LL Cool J. Samueal starts ranting and raving to his group and the shark jumps out of this pool thingy and swallows him whole in mid sentence. Everytime I see that part. I would practically be on the floor laughing.

    This story is entertaining

  6. Great story

    alright Tench I am going to continue to say this until you respond either cussing me out or you tell me you bought the program and the project is underway.

    Buy Freaking Final Draft or MovieMagic Saved the Cat or something and write a dang screenplay damn it!!!!!!!!

    I love it - the gore . Man will u at least respond - Screenplay Screenplay and the Final Draft screenplay contest final deadline is June 1st. Get to it man!

  7. I dunno how to write a screenplay... i want to write it into a novel ~

  8. it's easy. The screenwriter's bible is a great book as well as saved the cat. But you do what you do man. I look forward to this on the big screen.