For the longest time in my life I have been lonely. Not because of the lack of love, or friendship, but of understanding . I used Han to explained this several times. In my life, I had many friends who came and went... some remained and some did not. Whether they were good friends, or bad , they all had one thing in common. They did not have this Han that was deeply embedded into my heart. I always wondered when and where I would experience such exposure.
One day I get a message from a guy named Marvin. Dj duel. To tell you all the truth, I was a bit skeptical when he said he was gonna make me a sick introduction music. I thought it was just a kid who is going to use some silly gadgets he has to make a song... The reason I thought this was because I had a mindset of " who would spend there good time making something good for me" pessimistic i know, but thats what I thought. But, to my surprise, that shit was just off the hook! He actually had mad talent and skills a Buddhist monk couldn't even comprehend... and I was shocked. Someone with that much talent would be MY fan? and time went on..
With a slight change in fame status, it became so much more difficult then before. Mainly because of the things I say.. very controversial... so thus more haters then one would get if you only made silly videos, or music. I began to lose hope... I began to feel I failed My Asian race. How will we ever shine? will we ever shine...? I felt no Asian guy felt what i felt...
Then one day, I get a message again from Dj Duel . He says, he has this music video setup, and he would love to have me Down to make a "nasty appearance". I took up on his offer, mainly because I trusted his persona... something about him just gave me that , he is good dude.
When I went on the set, people greeted me left and right , like i was some celebrity... it was such a humbling experience... the more they exalted me, the more NOT SHIT I realized I was. However, they exalted me nonetheless... The shoot went great, and it went very smoothly.
Now, AFTER the shoot... this is when things became Gold. Many of Marvin's friends who were also fans of my videos sat around me in the dark corner, and we all talked about Han. How they knew exactly how I felt... The sadness of being the silver unpolished, the gold that does not have enough Heat to melt away from the rocks. We started to talk about how we need to unite as one race, so we can be the ladder to climb up together...we also the concept of the flower pot, where the rose would shine, but not without the support of those who are in the back, the flowerpot,the supporters.
My heart was refreshed all over again, and My spirits rose up. I realized I am definitely NOT alone in this world. And neither are you guys. You may feel your pains and struggles in America are felt in vain, but no, There are those who experience exactly what you feel.. and they feel you. Thats were true bonds and friendships build... so I wish you the same grace God has bestowed upon me that day. Take care you lovely people out there.