Hows is everyone doing? All good I hope. Now, some of you who read my blog understand what this blog will be touching upon. Fans.
What is the definition of a fan? FANATIC. No offense, but thats the meaning behind it... But there are those who definitely pull way too far into the blue with that shit. I think if your a real fan, you can understand the person your a fan of. Of course not all of its details, but at least know about the difficulties behind their lives.
I truly understand that my fans must go through difficulty in their lives as well. cause we are all humans. However, if you stop and think for a second , you might realize I have it pretty hard due to dealing with thousands of different emotions, and personalities. I know some of you deal with a lot of people in your line of work, but this is a bit different.
When I do my youtube, or blog... I put people into two categories.. just simply black or white. I hate mixing in between... Its neither you ARE a fan, or you are a HATER. I'm not A judge nor a person who has a lot of time to deal with muddy ,unclear individuals. Also, I shouldn't have to, its so unfair to me don't you think?
However, on my blog there was a fan. Just a young girl who found interest in me once, but wanted something more out of it. Started getting angry at me for not singing a song she has requested. If you know have known me for a while... You will know the common facts.
1. I get a more messages then I can read... whether it be 100 per day, or 300 some days.
2. In these messages, contains hate mail, concern mail, questions, complains, compliments, worries, and of course requests.
3. These requests go from, happy birthday shout outs, sing this song, hear this song, talk about this, talk about that... Can you talk about why etc etc...Can you sing this and that.
4. Let says Out of these requests I chose a song to sing... I need to LEARN the song.. PRATICE the song, then RECORD the song. For example.. when I sang road to zion... it took me 3-4 days to learn it, a day to record it ... I don't have the time to sing everyones request. I apologize. (though, once in a blue moon there is a song someone requested and I already KNOW the song, then I can probably give it a go. )
All i was telling her was to understand my situation for ONCE. Instead of looking at it with her bitter " he didn't sing my song, cause he is an asshole" eyes. If that was the case, hundreds of my fans should be complaining to me right now. But, they do not~ because they REALLY are my fans, who care for my well being, and they understand what I truly go through. Those people I love to death! Those are the people I truly appreciate!
Obviously to some, this may come off as arrogant, but i'm seriously pleading to you guys. This is really, really not easy for me. I chose a path that is so mixed, some times its more then I can chew... If you guys noticed, I touch up on so many different things...Which is probably why its so hard for me. My mistake .
from singing, to talking about racism, relationships, and controversial topics... Fans of all kinds. Fans that only like the singing, fans that only like the ambw.. and etc etc. So sometimes, I find it difficult to find my bearing.
She also mentioned that I don't reply to my fans if its a compliment, and I only replied to her when she was being negative. Its true, I wrote an essay for her. Mainly because I wanted her to realize shes in limbo right now. Your not in one side or another. No person wants to lose a fan unless its hurting your life, and she was draining my happiness . I come home , read my messages , filled with hate mail and compliments alike . Then I come to blog to read some passive aggressive mail, that seems to be a compliment, but mixed in with some hater taste to it. Then I get all confused, is this sarcasm? Then it happened way too often then not... So thus a goodbye to her.
You guys will understand when I tell you this. When someone who is a hater tells you ,your doing a horrible JOB, you are this way, and you are that way... honestly hurts, BUT, you can endure it... because YOU KNOW thats what haters do. However, if you think they are for you, they are your friends, family... and then says less then par comments. You just droop to the ground...
Later on I realized she REALLY was a hater, You can tell by her ending remarks. She always believed me to be a liar, and she really was upset about me not singing her song. excuse me for the french, but thats one self center ass bumpkin.
Anyway,on a much lighter note, to my fans and subscribers out there, I apologize if I cannot answer your questions and comments.But i want you to know I try my best to read them all, and I message people randomly to be fair. Also I try different ways to reach out to y'all. If you notice me cowering back into my shell, just know it was another weird fan that got me all defensive.
"The greatest fan can become the greatest hater. Because they know everything about